| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months now and everything was going great up until about a month ago and then things changed drastically. He wanted me to open up and voice when I have a problem but it seems as though when I do that he shuts down as if he's being attacked and thinks that I'm complaining when I'm just being honest and stating what I want out of the relationship. Well since then we went from talking all the time about everything to talking whenever and when we do talk it seems pretty forced and obvious that we're bored with the convo. I try to ask questions and see how his day was but it's just like he answers them and that's that, no elaboration or anything like he used to do. We don't go or hang out as much as we used to and when I try to suggest dates he seems so uninterested. The way he acts is really upsetting because I'm really trying but when I try and talk to him about how I feel it's just me complaining again so I try to refrain from that. I understand that my critical and emotional ways have ran him away to some extent but I'm trying to make things better now and it's just frustrating because i dont know what to do. He says that he doesn't feel the same way about me that he used to and that he's just as unhappy that he is happy but yet he doesn't want to break up. I try to give him space and come around to me on his own time, but it seems as though when I do that he gets upset that he's the one hitting me up first all the time. I don't know what to do, part of me wants to leave but another part wants to stay. He's really a great guy and I care about and can see a future with him and don't want these small turned big problems to break us up but on the other hand I'm not quite sure what to do. He says he wants to be with me but he doesn't act like it and I don't want to be the cause of his unhappiness. When I try to talk and suggest things it's like talking to a wall, but when I give him space he hits me up. What do I do? How do I fix things and get them back to how they used to be? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, corbandallas  +, writes (11 October 2010):
that is really bizarre. Something is obviously bothering him and it may not even be his relationship with you. I wouldn't push him too much or tell him how YOU feel, thats just going to put pressure on him and push him away. I think you can just be there for him. Let him contact you, but don't completely ignore him either. You should still phone him to check how he's doing. He may be unsure as to how he feels towards you right now. I think the best thing you can do is try to relax and eventually he'll tell you whats up. Thats what I believe anyways...
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