A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 8 years and my marriage is going down the drain I kick my husband out 2 days ago but i don't think I'm strong enough to let go. Will he's a drunk we wen to a party and he got so wasted he dragged me around all night I didn't know anyone at this party he would pull me around to different groups of people and then walk away them come back and drag me some where else i was so embarrassed i didn't know what to do everyone was looking at me like i was crazy for being with this guy but i soon left the party with out him.He has been gone for 3 days now and my kids keep asking for him will i ever be strong to leave this monster.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009): You don't have to leave this monster...
he left you! three days ago!! so should be easy.
via con dios.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Congratulations on your good decision to leave what sounds to me like an abusive relationship! You call your husband a monster. That's not a description of someone you would choose to remain with willingly. I am reading between your lines, I admit, but even though your children may be missing their Dad, if he is not a positive and healthy influence in the home, you have to be strong enough to recognize that fact and to stick to your decision for their sake. The children are too young to fully understand your decision so please reassure them that you are protecting them from further upset and be there for them to listen to their fears. You need help to help you cope and so do they!Your letter speaks volumes to me about how potentially destructive the relationship between you and your husband has become. Your children and their best interests come first - above your own and/or your husband's needs and wants. It is a fact. You need to be responsible for their safety and happiness above all else. It is very damaging for children to witness their mother being mistreated, but more so to watch her accept an unkind and unfair fate. Yes, it is painful when any relationship ends, even the normal ones, but it feels good to stand up for yourself - and especially for your children - when you walk away from abuse. You CAN stick to your decision! You CAN get the help and support you need to stay strong while you are making the adjustment. Please call upon your friends and family and ask for the support you desperately need right now. This man needs to know you are serious, which, if he gets that message, may actually put you and your loved ones in danger, so you need to seek the advice of a professional. Please call a women's abuse hotline for advice. I don't know from your letter if the abuse you have experienced is exclusively emotional, but even if it has never been physical, it is still serious and it can escalate into violence. The most dangerous time for a woman when leaving her abuser is right after she leaves or makes him leave. Is your husband an alcoholic? If so, he needs to get help and perhaps you can get help to understand his behavior and his disease from an organization like Al-Anon. There may be hope in the future for you and your husband to get back together, if he is able to give up the drinking, and after a period of intense counselling for you both. You both would benefit from having some guidance and instruction to develop healthy relationship skills. Before even considering a reconciliation with your husband, you need to focus on first making sure your children and you are safe. Please don't communicate with your husband until you get advice from a professional. There are people able and willing to help you! You are not alone. Please call today! Do it for your children - they are counting on you to protect them and be the role model they need. Your children love you and need you - please stay strong!I am not trying to frighten you, but there are too many sad stories in the news every day about women who felt they could not make a break from a painful relationship, and these women's lives end too often in tragedy. I really hope you will be your own best friend and do the right thing for you and your family. I will be keeping you all in my prayers. I believe you can all have a happier future, and perhaps even keep your family all together, if you get some professional help to work it out!:)Wishing you the very best of luck in the future! From a person who cares.
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (7 April 2009):
 You have to think about your kids in the situation. Is it better for them to be with this "monster" as you said or is it better to have the kids around him. Personally i wouldn't want my son around his dad if he was like that. I think that in this situation its going to be hard and the last thing you want to do is " break up " a family but if you feel like it would make you happy, Do it. The kids may "hate" you for ""taking" daddy away but later in life when they get older, they will thank you. I think that you deserve better you sound like a lovely person. I believe that you already have the strength to let him go, say good-bye. You have it in you. If you dont think you can do it. Make a pro and con list, which one outweighs the other? Then try and go from there.
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