A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing someone for a brief period of time. I am really into this woman but,unfortunately it would appear that she only wants sex. Or at least that is the only conclusion that I can come up with. While I am not against this, I am also not in a hurry to go there. Now that she realizes that, it seems that she is giving me just enough to keep me on the line. I get the feeling that she wants to keep the option open. I personally am looking for something a little more "meaningful" if you will. Since I am not quite the best when it comes to communication, I have to ask, how do I find out if she is really interested or if I am just wasting my time? If I am wasting my time, what would be the best way to end it?
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female
reader, Ursweetestsin +, writes (23 July 2010):
I think she thinks that's all u want cuz most females want to be serious with a guy..so maybe u should just ask her!
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (23 July 2010):
This is really simple. If you want to find out what she's interested in, ask her! There won't be any guessing games and you'll know. Once you know it kind of puts a closure on things and if she's not into what you want, then you know that you can move on and go your separate ways.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Tell her straight up that you want something serious and not a fling, and if she isn't looking for the same thing you don't think you should see each other anymore. See what she says from that. And if seems like there is no connection, just end things.
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A
male
reader, Jeff8  +, writes (23 July 2010):
Ps: if you see having sex as 'just wasting my time' then how will you ever get into a relationship. For better or worse this is not 1830: women listen to their bodies just like us. She clearly sees sex as one of the ways of getting to know someone better so why not just get it out of the way so you both move on to the next phase, whichever way it goes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): How do you find out if she's interested in dancing? Either ask her or take her dancing. You dont have to be a great talker either way. More or less the same with sex, although ifyou ask her i doubt whether she would say yes even if she only wanted you for your body: what woman (or man) would? You know yourself that the worst way to get someone into bed is to say you are not interested in anything with them but sex. Sex is not just a porno movie or a wrestling match. Its a way of expressing affection, of carrying on a conversation...its what you make it. And like it or not its a way two people who decide they want to be alone with each other communicate. She likes you. She wants to show you shelikes you..not just with words.
Ask her what she likes about you. More important, ask yourself what you like about her. If you dont feel anything physically dont fake it. Be yourself. That will help her be herself, too. Try to be spontaneous just this once. Say what you feel. Whats the worst that could happen? Not as bad as wondering and doubting are. If you go out together you should be enjoying this special time.maybe you just arent that into her. Good luck.
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