A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I find it hard to let people in.I am dating this really nice guy and I love him more than I have ever loved anyone.. I'm just soo scared.. I dont want to get hurt as I have had some s****y relationships in the past...I told him how I felt and he told me he loved me more than he loves his own mum, dad and sister (which must be a lot cos he is devoted to them all)I've grown up with my dad telling me I am worthless and that if a guy ever told me he loved me he was lying because nobody cud ever love me.Also I have starting having flashbacks of when I was attacked when I was little (sexually) and I'm worried I'm going to push my boyfriend awayplease help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2007): I have the exact same problem, i feel i cant let men in as i have had my fair share of s****y relationships too.I've been in violent relationships and also have the same experience as you had when you were a child too. I find it really difficult and i have recently just got in with a nice bloke too but it takes time. If you love him then let him know how you feel but try to keep it simple.As long as you know you love him and you are both happy then nothing need not spoil it. It all takes time and i understand that. Dont let past experiences stop u from feeling or expressing it. Yea some lads can be idiots but try not to tar everyone with the same brush just be careful with your feelings and where they go and who too. Honest time is the best healer and if your meant to be and he loves you then you have nothing to worry boutxxx
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (8 April 2007):
 You are in a position now where you can resolve things for the better. Have you had counselling? I can totally confirm your feelings with trust with regards to your past. What kind of dad says those kinds of things anyway? I find that sickening. Your goal is to prove him wrong and fulfil your desires and wants in your life. Not facing the things which have scarred your past and understanding how you can overcome them is only going to end in a endless loop, in which you will end up in the same place everytime. Whether it means going to a counsellor or speaking to someone you CAN trust you need to face your fears before you start any serious relationship. (I have just come out of a serious relationship and have only realised afterwards that I need to see someone regarding my trust issues, in the process losing a very beautiful person in my life that i will sorely miss). So face things now before your negative feelings escalate and push you further apart from your partner. Please take this advice seriously if you really love this person, as you need to be able to be fully open with them and you cant do that without sorting out your trust issues. i wish you all the best and hope you sort things out..
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