A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:greetings anonymous collective, er, hehe, well... i'm going to have a bit of trouble forming my question, because it's not really a question.i am 18 years old and i am... dateless. i always have been. i was a bit late to get into the whole desire to date, but when i was 16, it hit me really hard. many different situations confounded to create a pretty bad situation for me personally.i have just graduated from high school, and i am very excited about college, but right now, it's a very dead period. this summer isn't looking to be anything but stagnation, and while there's nothing wrong with that, i'd like to change things, even though i doubt that i'll be able to achieve my unrealistic goals.i'm a rather different personality. i'm not really sure how to describe myself, maybe you the reader will be able to discern your own views of me. hehe, so much for following the rule "don't make your question too long" eh?anyway, sorry about the diversion. what i want more than anything else in life is a girlfriend, yet, i've never come close. it's something that really bothers me; whenever i feel down, my mind always fixates on it and i feel incredibly lonely. i went to a private all-boys middle and high school for 6 years. unfortunately, i have a feeling this had a large impact on my social development. i have many trusting friends, but my very best friends were never much of the socialites themselves. i made a strong effort to do well in school, so an inordinate amount of time was spent studying, not because i necessarily wanted to do extremely well, but because i had to do a lot of work just to be above average. i am very proud of my work, as i am going to what i consider to be a great university, but once again, i fear that my social development has been hampered by my environment. one could say i'm a geek or a dork, but those who would say that just call me crazy instead. sure, i'm really into more geeky interests, but at the same time, i'm very into sports and global aspects of pop culture. my biggest problem is meeting girls. for whatever reason, it's just not easy for me. i won't know how i truly am around women until this coming fall, but... i never really learned how to meet other people outside of my school, including the entire female population. eventually my friends somehow figured out ways, and this past year, unfortunately my senior year, i have become friends with a good number of girls, but not exactly close friends. so what i want to know is... how do i find someone who i can connect with? i have fallen in love a few times, and it hasn't been pretty. my early infatuations were just that. fueled by unfamiliarity and in one instance, jealousy, i had burning crushes on girls i'd never even really see very often. it was very rough for me to handle, and i'm not even sure if i did handle it. ironically, i would eventually become distant friends with these girls after my hormonal feelings had subsided. there have been other times where i did fall in love with a girl because of her personality and not just blind hormonal interest. unfortunately, the first was and still is in a relationship, and the other is a lesbian. both of these girls do live somewhat far from where i do, but i'm still friends with them. they've helped me figure out what i want in a girl: a best friend. how do i make a new best friend, one that is a girl? it is one of my strongest beliefs that a couple should be best friends, i mean think about it, why would one want anything but that? like i said, i have a lot of good friends, but even i can point out who i spend most of my time with outside of school and during the summer. i want to be able to spend that amount of time with a girl, but i haven't been able to meet anyone like that. i won't lie, and if anyone else says otherwise then they're lying, but yes, physical attractiveness does play a part. however, i don't really have any standards. on any given day, i'll see many strangers who i find attractive.alright, well, enough rambling. if you've read this far, i commend you. to sum it all up: i have trouble meeting girls and even more trouble making friends with them. without mutual friends, i would have only a few girl friends, all of which i've met in cities in which i don't live.what should i do? is there anything i can do?thank you
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