A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. I love him with everything I have. Four years ago he left me for his ex girlfriend. He left me over an email and told me a week later he loved me but not in love with me. Oviously we got back together. I know very little about what happened with them. Im not really sure who left who. Ive tried for years to put this behind and me up untill a few weeks ago i though i had. He told me durning casual conversation he still wanted to have sex with me while we were apart. I told him I would have but you were with some one. he replied "I would have cheated on her, i realized my mistake a week after i left you". Now heres the problem. I know this is a huge lie. I was still calling him 2 weeks after he left me because he said he hadnt made up his mind. I stopped calling when he said he didnt love me anymore. It took one of his friends telling him they wanted to be with me to get him to come back around to me. (or so i was told) Even after i had to wait two weeks for him to ask me out agian. Ive never gotten straight awnsers, he breaks down into tears or compeletly shuts up when i try. Ive had to get over this by myself but ive realized this a few times that i cant do it alone. Hes still lieing to me. I dont want to deal with this anylonger i want to be over it. I check his phone becuase i want a little warning the next time she messages him to get back together. Deep down i belive he would accept. I just want to know how to get over this. How do i finally put it all behind me. How do i trust him and have faith in him? What do i do? Talking hasnt got me anywhere. Dont get me wrong hes absolutly amazing. He respects me, he tries to hard to make me have self esteem. He tells me he would do anything for me and says he loves me every day.
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ex girlfriend, get back together, got back together, his ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): Well knowing all that you've wrote on your reply... Like I've said before... If you can't see yourself in a future with him... And by the sound he don't want a future too... Just leave him why going on with something if it's making you suffer? And why leaving is not an option?
A
female
reader, Tonka +, writes (12 May 2010):
Thank you for your replies . i really apperciate them. I understand what your trying to tell me that past is past and enjoy what you have and try to build a future. well how can there be a foundation for the future if the past is a lie and contiues to stay that way? also notice i said boyfriend not fiance... 6 almost 7 years and he still tells me he dosnt belive in marriage or union of any sort. Leaving isnt an option right now.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 If you want to get it all behind you , you will have to wipe your slate clean and not to bring up anything that is from the past. Anything that comes out from the past, you will reject those thoughts.
You will also need to forgive all his transgressions.
Good luck to you !
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (12 May 2010):
 You're a very strong girl to go back with him. I know myself that I could never, ever take my boyfriend back if he left me for his ex. I've had issues with my partner's past for many months now, and to have him leave me for not only just another woman, but a woman he's been with and left, would just kill me. I wish I could advise you on how to get this trust back in your relationship, but the truth is: he broke it. It's like a friend of mine once told me, trust is like a bouncy ball. It starts out at its maximum height. If it's broken, the ball drops and comes back up, but it will never come back up to the height it once was. You will never be able to completely trust your boyfriend again after what he did to you. I wish I could say differently. He betrayed you and lied to you and he's still not able to be honest with you even after everything that's happened. If you'd like to stay with him for "Love's" sake, then I commend you for being so strong. But believe me, if this ever happened to me, I'd be giving him thousands of middle fingers, walking away, and never look back. You only have one heart, be sure to not let idiots handle it if they're not going to care for it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): Sorry girl, but I think your last paragraph just answered your question...
Look if he's a darling to you and you guys are for ages together, and knowing the fact you accepted him back after he went to her and back... Why worry about it girl?
All we can't leave behind in life is Love... Do you really love him? He really Loves you? And pardon me but just saying "I Love you" isn't enough... Does he treats you always right?
You need to relax and think with yourself how much this hole little story affects you... What matters to you the past if the Present of you guys are great? Past is past girl, people do change... I believe in Love, sorry I'm a romantic :P
But if this thing affects you too much, by making you not trust in him anymore... Or blocking a future together... Well you need to end it for good... Sounds easy uhn? Sorry, I know it isn't...
Remember girl, we all must live in the present we tend to forget that sometimes... That's why it's called PRESENT because it's our everyday chance to renew everything, to be a better person and to look other with other eyes...
Smell the roses... Let time tell you if you don't know your answers quite yet... They will come... But remember... To enjoy today ;) Tomorrow might not exist!!!
Hope my words were of any use to you :)
Best wishes, and good luck
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