A
male
age
30-35,
*apa wookiee
writes:Hi Agony AuntsI am a 26 year old man. I got married at 19 a large part of that was because we got pregnant. She was my first girlfriend. We were together 1 day short of 7 years, married a bit more than 5 of those. About 18 months ago she left me for a man she met at work. She has been seeing him on and off since then. We have went through periods of not talking to periods of trying to be friends.My main problem is that I can't seem to get over her. I have been in a few superficial relationships, but my mind still goes to her most days. I don't know how to really get over her. I have suffered from severe depression all my life and have finally beat the feeling of "I'd be better off dead". I am happier now than I have ever been.How do I get over her? How can I stop really loving her, and start a new relationship?Any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 December 2016):
 You don't say anything about your child.... How have the two of you been handling that, since the split? Being civil is the best plan, until you're both over each other and can be more pleasant (but not necessarily friends).I'm sorry she found someone else, but I think that may be partially due to having such pressure on you with the pregnancy so early on and getting married because of that, when you probably weren't ready for either and it may have covered up incompatibility that you'd have found sooner if not for having a baby and getting married so quickly.That's why you're having a hard time getting over her; she was your life for your adult years. She's the mother of your child. Getting over love isn't easy.Take some time to be single and not looking for anyone else. Build your adult life up and spend time with your child. Develop a new hobby and go out with friends every so often. Don't worry about women yet; you don't want to rebound. Relax and just focus on making you and your child happy, for now.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 November 2016):
 You where both so young when you got married and had a child. Off course you are not going to get over that in a hurry. I am sorry that she left you for another man. It must be difficult. All I can say is it will get easier you just need to give it time.
I am glad you are beginning to feel better from your depression, that is a positive sign. Don't rush in to another relationship. You are still young. Live your life. Do the things you may have missed out on when you where 19. Hang out with friends. Do hobbies and activities you enjoy. Go out clubbing and make new friends. Keep yourself busy and active and it will get easier.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (30 November 2016):
 Its hard because she sounds like she was your first love and lover. Those are the hardest to forget, they are the ones that have a lasting impact on our love life and how we see love. I remember my first love like it was just yesterday.That said, your exposure to dating is limited. DATE! And get out there and develop hobbies, go to gaming events if you like those, consider joining a club of some sort, work out and get fit, get a dog, love your kid and take them to school events. Just continue to be a good person --and willingly you can meet the right person at right time. I believe you can love again and in a even more passionate new way. But right now is time for you to figure you out. Only way to move on is to continuously continuously grow as a person and experience new things. Good luck.
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