A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm looking for advice on how to express my feelings better.I've never been the one to share my feelings, to hug people, to cry and so on. I feel that it makes me vulnerable to others and therefore I don't like to reveal how I feel. I appear strong and emotionless to many people but deep down I'm quite sensitive.I'm in my first serious relationship now and for a long time I found it hard to even tell my BF that I liked him. It was so hard but he slowly got me to open up. Lately I've been feeling even more strongly about him. A few weeks ago he told me that he loved me for the first time. I felt absolutely the same but it was so hard to say it back. I mumbled something about how I love him as well. Not a good first 'I love you.'The other night we were at a party and he was saying how special I am to him and then he leaned towards me and whispered in my ear 'I love you so much.' I was so happy but didn't say I love you back...I just froze up.The other night he was complaining about a girl at work who doesn't like him and I so badly wanted to say that I loved him but I made a joke of it and said "well, don't worry about her...here's someone who more than likes you.' Arghhhhh!!! The words just wouldn't come out.He's been so patient with me opening up to him before. I know that he knows how I feel about him but I think that he deserves to hear it.How do I overcome this fear of telling him how I feel? It's almost like I have this fear that if I say how I feel things will change and I'll get hurt. How do I stop feeling vulnerable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): if iam angry at someone i dont talk to that person.i just need a space from that person ,and with time that anger disappears then i can start talking to that person again
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010): Thanks so much for your input guys, I appreciate it.
I've been thinking about this lately and I've decided to tell him all this. The last paragraph of LonelyTwo's post has further encouraged me to speak up.
CindyCares, yes I have thought about writing things down but I think I need to talk to him. But I also think the occassional note is a good idea.
We've got a relationship where we talk about anything and where I can tell him what scares and worries me and he will listen and offer to help. So that's why I think tellin him all this will be good for our relationship.
I've come to realize that my fear of expressing my feelings could actually drive him away, because he might think that I don't love him. So I will bite the bullet and tell him what scares me.
Wish me luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 First of all ,a round of applause to you for not being all gushy and sentimental and easily spouting off words that retain a deep meaning only when used sparingly.
This is the only fault I find in the English language, which I find otherwise extremely precise and expressive : that everybody uses "love " to convey a lot of different meanings, from just a tiny bit of approval to the most passionate devotion, so everybody is always going "Oh I love this, I love that- I love my bf- I love my great aunt- I love my hamster ".:)
Back to us. I don't know if it will work for you but many people find it's easier and less intimidating to express themselves by writing.
Surprise him with a note - not a full blown love letter, just something simple where you tell him more or less what you have so nicely and endearingly told us . I am sure he will....ah well,LOVE it !
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