A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:how do i experiment with my sexuality without making people think im gay or bi?Also, i think two of my friends my be well, ones probaby bi and the other seems to be like me, curious, but i dont want to blow my friendship if their straight.And help..please :) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Its so hard for guys. If girls do it, than its sexy and natural. When guys explore our sexuality people just assume we are gay or really like guys and girls. If your friends might be interested in it also, then maybe you should explore it with them. You want to keep it discrete, but you also want to respect them and make sure you dont lose your friendship over it. Do you guys ever watch porn together? Maybe you could try watching a porn and seeing what they think. Maybe even joke around about wanting to masterbate right now and if they dont mind see if they want to also. If you are watching something with a blowjob, maybe joke around and ask "I wonder what its like to give head" and see how they respond. Try to just have fun with it and joke around. Dont force them into anything they feel uncomfortable with, but just try to see where you guys are at and what you want to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Well, if you want to explore your sexuality, you should, and what other people think shouldn't be an issue.
I take it you want to be discreet about it (good idea). Obviously if you get sexual with a guy, there IS no way of doing so WITHOUT making him think you're gay or bi. It'll happen behind closed doors, so there's no reason to worry that anyone else will find out.
If nobody thinks of you as gay or bi already, you're probably straight acting and appear straight to other people. By all means, do keep it that way if it makes your life easier. Some guys have 'gay' practically written all over them in pretty floral patterns from their mid-teens onwards (like me) no matter how hard they try to appear straight - so 'coming out' isn't really a huge issue because the 'secret' was never very well-hidden in the first place. (I think people would have been stunned and shocked if I'd turned out to be hetero)
As for these two friends - lucky you, it sounds like you're on a winner. With any luck, at least one of them wants the same as you. Test the water, find subtle ways of physically touching, see which guy you prefer, invite him round when you've a free house, keep up the eye contact, sit close to him, wait til the moment seems right, and chances are it'll take on a life of its own before you have time to pause for breath. You're old enough to 'go for it'.
If they're really friends, even if they're straight they won't mind you being gay. And if they're gay (or one of them is) you can literally 'blow your friendship' as much as you like!
Best of luck, and have fun!
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