A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm middle-aged. I am separating from my wife, at least for six months. The reason we are separating is that she has been unfaithful in several ways, and I want her to experience life without me. As for myself, I have been hurt by her behavior and believe that it might help her to know that I, too, am going out, and so I intend to do just that. Trouble is, I have no idea if there are women who won't think I'm a creep if I don't immediately take them to bed, and I want of course to experience an enjoyable time without being treated as a strange, creepy person. I'm afraid of involvement if there is sex and afraid they'd get too involved, as well. Advice about how far to go and Advice about what to say? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (10 July 2010):
 You shouldn't get involved with someone else, period. You're still married, and from what it sounds like, the separation is intended to be temporary. Rather than try to get back at your wife for what she's done, get a divorce. Her actions aren't an excuse for you to play the field while taking a break from the relationship.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (10 July 2010):
 I'm not sure what to do about the new social situations.
However, giving your unfaithful wife time without you is only going to make her unfaithfulness worse. Your giving her the opportunity to cheat more, without a chance of getting caught; going out yourself and having the appearance of getting some without her is only going to allow her to cheat guilt-free.
This decision will only make the distance between you greater. Either make up with her, now, with the addition of new limits on her behavior (which she must agree to of her own free will, of course), or break it off completely.
Depending on how long you have been married, and whether or not you have a pre-nup, breaking it off completely may be financially ruinous. If so, you have my sympathy, and have to decide for yourself if divorce is less painful than continuing to put up with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionADDENDUM Update. I see I failed to mention that I am sexually experienced, but have been faithful for the past twenty-five years since I got married. II am just separating, not divorcing, and have no wish to become deeply involved with a woman. I want to enjoy sex without intercourse.
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