A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So lately I've met a new guy. Let's call him S. I've known him for about a week and we've messed around twice now. When we ended up at the same party I told a friend of his that I liked S. I wasn't all myself at that point in time. The aforemention friend told S and then S said he had to figure out what he wanted this to be. Since then he's also told me he's not sure if he wants a relationship right now. I do. I like him and I don't just want to be friends with benefits. My past 3 relationships have all been fwb and I just recently got out of the last one which I was extremely grateful to leave. I want to give this a chance he's sweet but I don't just want to be a hookup. How do I tell him that and not lose him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2012): See how he acts first. If there is no date, just an invitation for sex you know what are up to:you ve been there before.And then you should simply tell him that this is what you think he is leading to and thats not what u want.
Its ok to speak up. What do u have to loose? Another fwb?You r too young to have this kind of relationship.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (31 January 2012):
 I agree with strongfp (rhyme unintended).
Making a big announcement would look weak and desperate. Besides, words are just words.
You show him by your actions that you're not up for a casual fling. If he only wants to be friends then treat him the way you would treat any other platonic friend. No hugs, no kisses, no flirting. Don't hang out alone or at his house. Day time public outtings are best.
If your feelings are that strong you might want to keep your distance until you're strong enough to enforce your boundaries.
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