A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been babysitting on and off for a couple (I'll call them J and B) with a little boy of two years old since October 2011. They didn't used to call me often, maybe once a month, but since around April of this year they've been in touch more regularly. The problem is that for a while now I've been wanting to quit this job and haven't known how to do it. I feel bad because I don't like to let others down; J and B are nice enough people but they can be a bit... dependent. They don't have family around, and every time they ask me to look after their son it comes with a sort of desperation which makes me feel rather smothered and unable to say no. Also - and I feel bad for saying this - I don't enjoy taking care of J and B's son. He can be pretty aggressive, playing with you one minute, then without warning throwing something at your face. His mother told me not too long ago about an incident where he'd attacked another child without provocation, cutting her cheek badly with his fingernails. J and B aren't big on discipline though, and when you're a childcarer you have to respect certain boundaries when it comes to telling off a child. I'll be starting uni (but still living locally) in two weeks and I don't want to end up spending my weekend nights cooped up with an angry toddler. J and B don't pay me much at all and I just don't feel the arrangement is worth it for me any more. How should I end it without everything being horribly awkward though? I'd be so grateful for any advice! Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): Relax, you're over thinking this way too much and making it into a much bigger deal.
Just say that you're starting school and your new schedule doesn't leave time for any babysitting, that's all. This is perfectly normal and no one will have their feelings hurt.
you are not letting them down, dont' worry. They were paying you (even though not much) so it's understood that this is a business transaction nothing more. there is no contract between you, and you did not make promises to do this forever and ever. it is universally understood that this is just a temporary gig for you, as it is for almost all students who do babysitting on the side. This couple have no shortage of options to replace you.
You don't have to tell them that you actually hate being around their kid and don't want to do that anymore even if you could especially for the meager amount they pay you (although I would admire you greatly if you did that!). Just say that your schedule has changed and you no longer have time to do babysitting. No one will take offense to that.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Awkward? Why ? This is a regular business transaction - money in change of a professional performance. The moment that you, for any reasons of yours, ( well, sure, no need to tell them : I am not going to babysit that awful pest anymore) feel that you cannot or wish not to provide your childcaring services,you can, and should, stop anytime ( Of course it is considerate and polite giving ample notice so that they can find someone else, even if technically you would not be obliged to do that, in lack of a formally binding contract ).
You do not need to get into detailed convoluted explanations nor to apologize nor to feel guilty. Same as ( hopefully you would not, if you were to decide changing your hair stylist for a new one, or giving up your apartment to move somewere else. It is a business matter, not an emotional one. Keep it polite, simple and dry : from day X I am not available for babysitting anymore ,thanks for having entrusted me with your child. ( Again, just give them notice, do not wait till the last second, like the very Saturday night that they have a long waited event to attend, to spring the news on them ).
That is all, no need to explain too many hows and whys. If they insist or get clingy, just tell them that from now on you need strongly focusing on school ( which, after all, also happens to be just the truth ).
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 Just tell them next time you babysit or next time they call that you can't work as their babysitter any more, you need to focus on your schooling.
You don't OWE them anything.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 September 2012):
Just explain to them that, now that you’re starting university, you are unfortunately not going to have the time to commit to babysitting anymore. Offer to do any shifts that have already been arranged, then just say that you wish them well and all the best for the future. It will be a bit awkward but most people who do this kind of work casually don’t tend to do it long-term so they’ll need to get used to that if they regularly use the services of a babysitter. Just be polite and friendly and you’ll be fine. If they don’t accept it graciously they’re not the kind of people you’d want to work for anyway.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2012): "How should I end it without everything being horribly awkward though?"
Just be business like and straight with them OP. This is a business arrangement and you just simply tell them you won't be able to babysit anymore because you want to focus on your studies. If they try and convince you to change your mind or try to feed you some sob story then just tell them you're sorry but you can't anymore.
If you know someone that would like to take over babysitting then perhaps recommend that person but other than that just tell them the arrangement is over. It's just business OP, nothing personal and nothing to be awkward about, you babysat when you were available to and now you're not anymore that's how babysitting works.
Just do them the courtesy of calling over to them and letting them know in person and before they ask you to do it again so they have a chance at finding a replacement.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (4 September 2012):
 You could tell them in advance that with university starting you'll be devoting more of your time to studies and you won't be able to babysit anymore. Simple as that.Keep it brief. The longer your explanation and the more guilty you seem giving it, the more chances you give them to try to negotiate an extension and the more confident they will be in pressing it.If they're insistent you then you could tell them what you told us, but again, keep it brief, especially when mentioning their son's unpredictable, aggressive behaviour. No one is obliged to tolerate that. Maybe it would be good for them to know the truth so they can better appreciate the next sitter they hire (or pay you more if you agree to continue doing it less often).This is not a huge deal so don't stress yourself out about it. No one likes to let others down, but you've already been a tremendous help to them. They know you're a young woman who has other ambitions in life.
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