A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone this is a bit complicated my fwb lives 1 minute away from me its how we met by living in the same place I have met a man who knows my fwb and they cannot stand each other this man I met wants to come to mine he doesn't know that me and my fwb are still sleeping together and are still in touch so my question is this should I let this new man come around as I am going to finish with my fwb? if so how should I go about it? so I don't hurt anyone? thank you
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 Just call or text your FWB and tell him I can't do the FWB any more since I have met a guy I want a REAL relationship with. You don't OWE the FWB guy anything.
Just be honest.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 April 2012):
 The whole point of FWB is that there supposedly are NOT feelings involved. So no one will get hurt. Your fwb is not your boyfriend, you are entitled to end the sexual relationship you have with him at any given point, and you do not owe him any consideration. He's still your friend, you just wont sleep with him any longer.
You "end" it by turning him down next time he wants to have sex and by not asking him over to have sex either. Or just flat out tell him that you want to stay strictly friends for now.
Whatever you do don't let the new guy know you had a sexual relationship with your "friend". But do be honest about knowing him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): FWB in theory doesn't involve feelings, nor is it anything enduring. As such your FWB neighbor should understand he's been enjoying a temporary arrangement, and he should be prepared for it to end. So you just straight out tell him that it's over. No explanation should be required.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): I don't understand the problem OP, is the new guy a romantic interest?
If not then you don't have to do anything. Who cares if he doesn't like your fwb? You don't have to have them over at the same time and you're nothing to do with him not liking this guy.
If this new guy is a romantic interest then I would seriously consider finishing your fwb situation before you're in a position to be intimate with this new guy. I don't think it would go down well if he knew you were still shagging this new guy and him.
End it before he comes around OP if the new guy is a guy you want to date, this "going to finish" is something we guys hear a lot, a lot of us don't appreciate girls keeping one guy while they test out another.
If the new guy is a romance then just tell your fwb that the arrangement is over and that's it. He won't get hurt because it was just casual sex and the new guy won't know any better because he doesn't need to know that you used to sleep with that guy as long as you weren't sleeping with this guy while starting to date him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2012): If we based every movement and decision on how to not hurt anyone- what would be the point of being on the planet?
When we excercise our Free Agency, even with our without intent to hurt others- we may end up doing so regardless.
How should I go about it? HONESTY.
These are grown men and can handle the truth. Tell them both the truth.
Then in the future, don't hang unto a FWB until you find a new guy. Ensure there is a clean break between the two. Otherwise you may set yourself up for a nasty fall.
Or in a very dishonest bind like the one you have.
TRUTH. Do it.
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