A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I think my girlfriend is depressed, I've been dating her for 8 months now and she doesn't have any close female friends and she's incredibly lonely. Most of the time she'll only leave the house to go to classes and she misses quite a few, she has some friends on her course but I don't think they are very close and she seems to think they find her annoying. She lives with four other people but she avoids seeing them as "we're not really friends and they all are so it's kind of awkward now" whereas my flat mates are my best friends.I've tried to get her to join societies to meet people but she says she doesn't have any hobbies and doesn't want to go on her own.It's causing problems in our relationship because although I love her I can't hangout with her all day every day and she needs to become less dependent on me. I don't know how to help her make friends.She also found out that she's failed a module and so has to retake it this year before starting her next year, therefore all her course friends are moving on and she's not going to know or have many classes with anyone on the year below and I'm worried she's going to Get more isolated
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2017):
 Has she actually told you she is depressed? It could be that she just lacks in self esteem and confidence and that is why she struggles to make friends. Talk to her about it, maybe seeing a therapist would be a good idea to talk about why she finds it difficult to make friends. Unfortunately you cannot help her make friends she needs to be able to do this for herself. You are right you cannot have her depend on you and not only that you need time and space with your friends as well, you don't want to feel suffocated, you just need to be honest with her and tell her how worried you are.
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 September 2017):
 It's good that you are concerned for her. The trouble is that it isn't anything you can fix. You should encourage her to see her GP. I mean, it can't do her any harm can it? That's one argument you might use.
Personally I would not recommend she goes down the meds route. I think some cognitive behaviour therapy from a trained counsellor or psychiatric nurse would be better.
You might also share this letter with her from Stephen Fry who suffers from depression himself.
https://xchingx.deviantart.com/art/My-letter-from-Stephen-Fry-93510114
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