A
male
age
30-35,
*Rsensation
writes:For the ladies out there, I have a few things I would like for you to clear up for me, I appreciate it. I know this does not apply to every woman but i believe it does for a majority of them.#1: If you shower a girl with gifts, she will leave you#2: Girls do not want a man who is constantly submissive. Example...Girl: Where should we go to eat?Guy: I don't know. Where do you want to go?Girl: I don't care. You pick.Guy: Umm not sure. Just pick a place and we will go. #3: There is this girl who I think is funny, cute, and a talented pianoist. I'll call her Megan. Her very good friend, Stephanie, who is also a good friend of mine, likes me. Stephanie told me she likes me a few weeks ago. I told Stephanie I like her back because I felt like I was expected to and I did have some feelings for her but I was unsure about those feelings. Within a matter of days I told Stephanie I just want to be friends and nothing more. Megan knows Stephanie likes me. How can try and develop a relationship with Megan while at the same time not destroy the girls friendship and without hurting Stephanie if that's possible at all. Thank you very much for your feedback. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, KRsensation +, writes (9 May 2012):
KRsensation is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your help. I think I will simply stay friends with Megan.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 May 2012):
 For the first two statements..
#1: If you shower a girl with gifts, she will leave you
Um no, I hardly think so, but GIFTS/MONEY can't buy love. Learn to give gift that MEAN something. Make gift giving special. A girl who EXPECTS presents might leave however, but if she is only with you for presents do you really want to be with her? There are MANY ways to show you care other then buying material goods.
#2: Girls do not want a man who is constantly submissive. Example...
I mostly agree. I don't like overtly submissive men. Maybe because I grew up with VERY strong male role models and equally strong female role models.
There is a fine line between being submissive or unable to make a choice. It can EASILY be perceived as you don't give a rats behind where you go to eat, not that you are submissive. Or you are not seen as a "capable" guy. All she is asking is where you would like to go. So while it IS ok to answer a question with a question, it's even better if it at least looks like you took you time considering where YOU would like to go. Why not instead offer a couple of options?
Girl: Where should we go to eat?
Guy: I not sure. I'm in the mood for seafood (example) tonight maybe restaurant XX or YY or How about that new Sushi place on WWW?
Or you can be smart and say, hey you pick to day and I pick next time.
Another option is have fun with it, flip a coin, paper/rock/scissors for it.
Same with the movies. KNOW what's playing and be honest what you would like to see. You don't ALWAYS have to let the woman pick. COMPROMISE.
OK on to #3.
You shot yourself in the foot by jumping into something with Stephanie so fast only to "renege" it a few days later. If Megan is a good friend she wouldn't date you out of respect and care for her friend. And there is no way Stephanie wouldn't be hurt by you asking out Megan. Sorry.
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