A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My question is just like many others..The thing is that i have a cousin whom i know is not handsome but for me he is everything. I have had a crush on him for like 4 years and i dont know if he knows. He is the shy type without any girlfriend infact he doesnot easily intermix with the opposite sex.I sometimes think that he likes me too but then i just feel that i am feeling this because i am crazy about him. I have tried many times in the past years to move on but my efforts are really fruitless. I cant forget him at all. Please i am in dire need of help and i really dont know what to do.Please both our families are very conservative. By the way i am 17 and he is 22.I took the love tests which have symptoms and mostly it comes out to be 50 percent for both of us.Thanks
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cousin, crush, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): You didn't mention whether this was your first cousin. If he is more distant, the fact that he is your cousin is no reason to avoid him. If he is your first cousin, that might not be the best choice from a biological perspective. Here is a reference:An Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 – 816You'd have to read it and make up your own mind. Then there is the question of what people will accept. In Pakistan cousin marriages may be fine. In the US there is a terrible prejudice against it; sometimes it's even illegal. It think that prejudice is wrong, but it is everywhere.But your big problem is he may not love you. That is never good when you are in love. You might mention it to your friends; if you do you can be pretty sure he will find out one way or the other. Then it's up to him. You will not have embarassed yourself and you might just get mad enough when he ignores you to forget him. Or maybe he has worshiped you all along and this will get him to speak up.I wish you all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2012): Please, imheretohelpu, I understand but all this is not successful for me.I havnt met him for like half a year and the last time we met i barely saw him for a minute but still his name even makes my heartbeat go faster.I have tried to find many distractions. I m always on youtube or studyin but his thoughts still haunt my mind.Isnt there any other solution?
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A
female
reader, Irine  +, writes (7 May 2012):
Hello,i have tried to understand your situation.You have had a crush on your cousin for 4yrs now, meaning it started when you were 13yrs old.I find that pretty normal,because you are growing up now,I will not advise you to get into a relationship with the cousin,thats kind of a taboo in some communities,and as you said your families are conservative,your still young, get to interact more with others, go out on weekends,and etc.Dont put all your mind on your cousin because if he had any interest he could have taken a move by now,hope iv helped :)
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