A
female
age
26-29,
*andiSaur
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. He and I have had an amazing relationship and we were friends for 9 months before and we have never had any sort of problems together. But recently, I left for a 10 day trip out of state (I do this twice a year). Any time I leave, after about 5 days I start feeling like I want to stop talking and even break up with my current boyfriend. And as soon as I get back into town and we get together, all of those feelings go away and everything is hunky-dory again. I really need some tips/advice to help keep the distance from getting to me and causing a serious strain or problem with the relationship. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2012): There's nothing wrong with distance in relationships, I believe its healthy and gives each other time to reflect on the relationship and how things are going. Also it gives you chance to miss each other as oppose to spending every minute of everyday under each others feet which can get annoying, and lead people to take each other for granted.
There's a saying you may have heard of - "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", and its true. Missing someone during time apart, makes you appreciate the person more when you're together.
A
female
reader, i love god  +, writes (5 August 2012):
You can take a break ( like not talk to him for a week) and see how you feel about him. Do you miss him? Also, go out with friends and notice if you miss him even when you are having fun. I think that your problem is long-distance. You should try to see each other and spend some time together.
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A
female
reader, MandiSaur +, writes (5 August 2012):
MandiSaur is verified as being by the original poster of the question It's not that I want to be on my own or without him, it's just I have a problem with the distance and him giving me enough space is not an issue. We also haven't really been able to talk to much this trip since we both have been preoccupied with other things.
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female
reader, carolines9711 +, writes (5 August 2012):
My dear, I know how you feel. I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years and we've had our ups and downs. In fact, we aren't supposed to be together now, but we make it work. I'm 15 and he is 18. He's going to college next year and we know it's gonna be hard, be we know if it's mean to be, than we will last. I miss him like crazy, but there are some days where I just want to be able to chill out without him and forget about him. So it's normal. Talk to him about it and I wish you luck. :)
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A
male
reader, nonan  +, writes (5 August 2012):
Do you feel better when you're on your own? Or is it hurting so much that you'd rather not have him at all than just be without him for those 10 days?
Does he give you enough space generally?
When you're apart do you feel too much of an obligation to phone?
Let him know how you feel. My guess is that you just want to have the vacation without needing to keep phoning him.
You have plenty of time to work out things within yourself. :-)
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