A
female
age
30-35,
*abyyblonde
writes:About 3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. We had a long distance relationship for about 8 months of it, and I finally broke it off because of drug issues/long distance insecurities/continuous fighting and a need for space. At the time it felt like the right thing to do, because I couldn't take the stress anymore. Our breakup was surprisingly easy for me, but I think it's because it I was so incredibly busy at the end of my senior year and it was a relief to have the stress of a relationship gone. I was happy to enjoy the rest of school with my friends and being single.However, now it's summer, and he's back in town. I've inevitably been hearing rumors about him having a thing with a new girl, and he's been hanging out with new groups of people (and girls) he never used to hang out with. In other words, it sounds like he's moved on, is living life, and has possibly found someone new.I didn't think it would hit me as hard as it did. I've been a mess for a week now. It's like all the breakup feelings I should have felt 3 months ago I'm feeling now. The idea that he's has moved on from me and is doing fine without me for some reason is killing me. Maybe because I realize now I haven't moved on? I don't know. I don't understand these feelings.How can I deal with this? How do I move forward as well? I don't want to be the only one left behind. I don't want to miss him if he doesn't miss me. Help!!
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Sorry to be blunt, but why shouldn't he have moved on? You were the one that broke up with him. He was inevitably going to do so, it's just that everyone manages to do it at different speeds (could of taken him a week, a month, 2 months, but it was always going to happen)
I know it's easy enough for me to be sat here and say that the only thing that you can do is suck it up and move on, because that is the only thing that you can do here. I know it's very hard to do so, but that's what your friends are there for, to help you out in times of need.
Make sure you occupy your mind so you have minimal time to sit around and think about this guy, just keep your head up and keep a positive attitude, you'll find someone that is more compatible with you and the relationship won't have problems like the previous one.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Hi
im afraid this is a case of what you cant have you want more of. It's not because you still have unfinished buisness with him. You have finished your term, so now your not so busy with life, and you seem bitter that his moved on, maybe deep down you wanted it to work out, but as you know it's not always possible to rewind the past. Your just going to have to deal with the fact that you broke it off and gave him the freedom to move on. Which he now has, just be happy for him, and start to make plans for yourslf to keep busy to take your mind off things. We have all at sometime been in your shoes, so I do understand how your feeling, But if you try to get back with him it would be a short lived relationship, and could do more harm than good.
xx
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A
female
reader, cuteandchic93  +, writes (20 June 2011):
Just to give you a quick answer... Just do what he's doing!
I'm more or less in your situation... I cheated on my ex and I got pregnant. Now I'm with the baby's daddy and my ex has already found another girl. I know it's hard, but I think what you should do is moving aswell!
Hope it helps!
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