A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I have been with my partner for three years already and have already had a child with him. I used to not be afraid to show my body off because my boobs were bigger and perky size c, my body was nice and big I even had them lil dimples on my lower back (before baby) but now since the child I have gotten stretch marks on my boobs and stomach and some in between my inner thighs.. My boobs are a lil saggy and I think I lost my butt my stomach looks a lil saggy also.. I don't feel comfortable wearing a bikini anymore either.. Oh and I'm 5'4 weigh 132.. And I don't like taking all my clothes off during sex anymore. Last but not least when my partner watches porn videos I feel unappreciated because those girls have beautiful bodies and I don't anymore. :( Any advice people??
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male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (21 February 2011):
Allowing me to add to my earlier answer, going to the gym will provide a ton of benefits beyond just looking better.
If you exercise, your're relieving stress and building confidence things that go a long way in making you sexually desirable, and the added blood flow will make you more flexible, vibrant and energetic.
Working out comes with its own set of challenges, but if you have patience things will work out great.
A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (21 February 2011):
Hit the gym. Everything tightens up with a little exercise, preferably cardio.
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A
female
reader, Rose22  +, writes (19 February 2011):
 ok well i understand how this i hard for you because you know what you looked like before and you loved it. now that you have had the baby, everything has just gone a bit saggy has it? im afraid for many, many women that is the reality.when you have a child your skin stretches to accommodate it. and when the baby is born the skin no longer needs to stretch that far but can no just bounce back to the way it was no matter how hard you wish it to. your boyfriend loves you and im sure he loves how you look also. the thing about him watching porn, well did he ever watch it before? if her did then he is just carrying that on. if however he just started, there might be the thing of him not desiring your body as much as he used to but i think the main thing might be because your not as confident in the bedroom anymore and the people he watches on porn are very confident. he most likely wants you to get your confidence back. ok stretch marks i dont think go away entirely, but you might be able to help them by exercising and working on building muscle. doing that might help you regain the look you once had. but as for your boobs and i dont think they will go back to how they were before. im sorry. try to work with them and maybe get a more supporting bra???
all the best!!
redrose
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): Welcome to the wonderful world of ageing and childbearing. Your body will never be the same. Instead of focusing on your negatives instead take inventory of all your positive points and reinforce those everyday. It's all downhill from here, I'm afraid, that is unless you shift your focus from beauty to health. That means physical health and mental health, which includes a healthy self-confidence.
Don't compare yourself to the freaks in porn, that's like comparing yourself to the extreme physiques of supermodels. It's a pointless exercise and doesn't lead to any personal growth. Tell him to stop watching porn in your presence because it is making you feel badly about yourself. If he doesn't get it get some pictures of men with enormous penises and make sure he sees you looking at those. That might help him get it, but if he has a healthy ego he will ignore that. I'd appeal to his common sense, which is keeping you feeling attractive would bein his best interests over time. Just be honest with him, don't take your insecurity about yourself out on him. You have a healthy body with the typical stuff women in your situation go through. It sucks and isn't much fun but it's normal. Focus on your good points for now and work on building your health. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): You have a beautiful baby, and I'm afraid becoming a mother does have some affect on our figures, everything in life has a price to pay, and not being the same as a non-mother is one of them for having a baby. At 16-17 with a child already, that makes you around 13 when you were with this boy.
Way too young - as your posting demonstrates. Although physically able to have a child, you are not emotionally mature enough to cope with the natural changes, that a woman in her mid twenties, thirties would more readily accept, and expect as part of it.
As you don't say how old your child is, but if under 12 months old, then your figure will return to a shape you are more used to in time. Ensure you eat healthily, and do your post-baby exercises,also running is good, it streamlines and tones all your body. But really, there is so much more to being a sexy desirable woman, than silicone breasts and airbrushing models within an inch of their life to look like fake plastic people. Don't get sucked in by it.
Your boyfriend watching porn in front of you, why? What is it with 'SOME people' that think porn is a part of everyday life like taking a shower. It is not, regardless of how many men seek it out on the internet, it is still NOT considered healthy as a regular pastime. If you don't like it, or he doesn't consider how you're feeling about it, tell him. I just hope for you, he's not making this a regular practice, and is loving to you and your baby.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): I know exactly how you feel. I have two babies and I'm 28 years old. I didn't get stretch marks anywhere and my stomach went back to being flat but before I was pregnant I was a perky D cup. Now I'm a saggy double D and I hate them! I don't feel attractive and I think I lost most of my ass too. The father of my children is always looking at porn. He lookes up women with huge pretty breasts and big asses. Sometimes he prefers to relieve himself to porn rather than satisfying me. It came between our relationship and I left him a few times because of it.
He does tell me that he love my breasts no matter what but I was still insecure as ever. I decided to buy those breast enhancement pills because they can make your breast feel fuller and firmer. They did work. You have to take them for a year to get permanent results. I used "breast solutions" pills. They are herbal and safe to take.
As for my ass, I did exercises at home whenever my baby was taking a nap and toned up my ass. It's not as big as it was but any type of ass will look good as long as it's toned.
Your stomach can be fixed too. Usually that's done by getting a tummy tuck. Most of us unlucky ones can't afford to get that done. HOwever, there is a new method that I saw on the news. They get some type of laser and freeze your fat cells off of your stomach. It's supposed to help make it flat without the crucial surgery and it costs less.
You will get your body back. Don't worry. It just takes time.
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