A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 4 years to a very kind and loving man but I do not get on with his family. His family take the mickey out of me and call me posh and snigger about me behind my back. We come from very different social backgrounds and they go out of their way to make me feel uncomfortable. It has got to the point where I will no longer visit them or welcome them to my house which upsets my husband. I have tried explaining to him that what they do upsets me but he says it is just a joke and to laugh it off. The thing is it is not a joke and they get fun out of making me feel uncomfortable. I work long hours in the city and have a nice car, good home and can afford numerous luxury holidays a year. I never ever rub their nose in this but they are bizarrely jealous. I can no longer tolerate their meanness towards me. My husband says I have to have them in the house as they are his family but if that is the case I will go out. I don't really know what to do anymore. I work in a very pressurised environment where I deal with difficult politically minded people every day but not mean people and this situation has got me beat. I have tried ignoring them but then I am considered to be aloof! Any ideas on how to deal with this My husband finds the whole thing faintly amusing?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Sorry to read that you've married a man who lacks a spine....
That said..... you can - and should - do all you can to stay away from his family.... At the same time... when circumstances put you (force you) in to contact with his family, be a friendly and cordial as you are able to be, under the circumstances. THIS is called the "high" road.... and better that you be on IT rather than the other one....
Sounds like you've got quite a task ahead of you... and you're stuck with having to face it without the support of your spineless hubby...... You "sound" like your persevering.... I encourage you to continue....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (26 September 2011):
 i think that what started as mickey taking has now escalated into them believing you really do think you are better than them because you now go out of your way to avoid them. that does make you look very aloof (to them) i'm afraid.
people take the mickey because they are familiar with you and i think they wanted to break a barrier, but you have taken this to heart. but yes i agree there is has probably been an element of jealousy because you can afford nice things and have been brought up posh.
i think you should just draw a line under the mickey taking, and start afresh. it doesn't require any special announcement, just stop going out when they are at your house because this does make you seem very stuck up and is making matters even worse for you.
have them at your house again, but not the entire clan together coz this probably gets them in the mood for banter. stop avoiding them, learn to laugh at yourself, take the p*ss out of them too if they start, they will respect you more for it! the fact that your husband finds it all amusing is because he knows they are just playing with you. if it was anything nasty or vindictive i would hope he would not find it funny
x
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (26 September 2011):
 I guess due to both of your different upbringings this is causing trouble. My guess is that this is just the way that they are and the find it funny and that is why your husband is not taking it serious because it is there personality. Everyone is different. But I think the best thing that you can do is confront them and tell them exactly how they make you feel. They probably don't even realise how much they are upsetting you. So just tell them to there face how bad the situation has got for you and see if that improves things.
...............................
|
