A
male
age
36-40,
*asonras
writes:How to deal with my girlfriend moving out? Is it the right choice?I am 21 years old and have been with a girl for 2.5 years. We still go to college and work full time jobs. We are both very bright, intelligent, and "too mature for our age." She studies literature and plans to teach. I run two businesses of my own and I am the executive director of a television station in MA. I am reserved and practical. She is a free thinker but very passive and introverted. I am a typical Aries...for those who like astrology. She and I have always had a very special relationship. I truly love her and I know she truly loves me. I am a very committed person with almost everything that I do. She has commitment issues and is not confident in her own decision making. We compliment each other's lives very nicely. I make up for her faults and she makes up for mine. I trust her very much.We also have a very intimate relationship. We both love to hold each other and I am always there for her. I would drop anything I am doing just to be with her and comfort her. She makes me a better person and I am at a loss of words to describe how much I love her and want to be with her.We have lived together in an apartment for the last year with another roommate. Before that we shared dorm space together for an entire school year. Although we have legally signed a lease together for one year, it is like we have lived together for two. We have seen each other almost every day and on those rare occasions that we cannot, it feels terrible.The issue is that now that our lease is getting ready to end in a few months, my girlfriend want to try living on her own. She says before she commits to me any further, she needs to prove to herself that she can take care of herself. She still wants to be with me and love me, but she just wants a place of her own for a while. We live right now in a beautiful luxury condo in boston. My home feels so safe coming home to her every night; seeing her face asleep in the morning. She says she will try to get a place close to me so I can stay over whenever. She cries every once in a while, scared that she can't make this transition and that she wants my help. I'm having a great deal of difficulty convincing myself this is the right thing for her to do. Even if it is, I don't know how to cope with the pain I feel. The last year has been a wonderful experience. We truly proved to everyone that we can make it work. We never had any problems living together. I am a wonderful house mate as I clean, take care of the cats, cook, and provide so much for her. I am very terrified that I will be losing something wonderful in my life and I will be beg for it to come back. I'm also not convinced it is a practical decision since she has no money to support herself properly. I feel she is caught up in the romantic notion of living independently but not really realizing how difficult it wil be and that it is not worth the change. She is "the one" and of course I will help her in any way possible. It's just one of those situations I wish life was fair and didn't have to hurt so much. I don't know how to deal with it. Living together for nearly two years is a long time and was a wonderful experience. I wish things were different.
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female
reader, EmRaIrKiAe +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Well girls have a sense of independence like to know that they can do it on their own so be supportive and tell her that you will always be there for her. Make sure she knows that you respect her and her choice to move you don't want her to leave but you know its something she feels she needs to do before she commits to living with you for good. When she does move out give her her space but let her know your still there.
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