A
female
age
30-35,
*asmine xd
writes:Last October, i found out that my bf was talking on the internet with a girl who i disliked (because i think she liked him). He talked to her for about 2 weeks without telling me and when i found out, his excuse was that he didnt think he had to tell me. at the time when he was messaging her, i was waiting for him to call me. i confronted him on the internet and he just sent the message i sent to him,to the girl and said i was trippin and stubborn. what really made me mad was that wrote to the girl "youre cool jessica, no wonder you have all these playa haters on you" i told him that i considered not telling me was cheating, but he thinks otherwise. I broke up with him for a couple days until he said he wouldnt talk to her on the internet anymore, but i dont want him to talk to her at all because i think they like each other and have an emotional connection. he said that i was being controlling and the only reason why i dont like her is because she is a girl. i told him that i dont care that she's a girl, its just i feel like you have emotions for her but he wont listen. i go to school with him and her and everytime i say something negative about her, he gets defensive. she is the type of girl who flirts with any guy even if they have a gf. and the reason why i didnt like her from the start is because she was in class talking to my bf and when i came in, she became quiet and stopped talking the rest of the time. if she didnt become silent when i came in, i wouldnt be irratated by her, i would have joined the conversation, maybe potentially became her friend, and this whole mess wouldnt even exist. well two weeks after this whole mess, i found a picture of her that he drew in his binder. he told me it was for his friend who likes her, i believe this because one of his friends does like her, but when i asked him if he was going to tell me about it, he said no. i was angry because he promised he wouldnt hide anything that had to do with her from me and he within 14 days. he has three classes with her and sits next to her in every one. in his art class, its only her and him at a table alone and i dont like that either. i asked him if he would move with other people or have other people sit with them so they are not alone, but he has a problem with that too. everytime i ask him questions about her, he smirks and has attitude or hesitates to answer. we've been together since march 2006 and all of this started in oct 2008 and still continues today. what should i do, i told him he could talk to her, but only because she has to sit near him in his classes. im only ok with it if he tells me what they talk about, but he doesnt. i met him halfway, but he cant meet me halfway. im not ok if he talks to her out of class. is this ok? i try to meet him in the middle, but he cant even talk to me cooperatively when i try to talk about this whole situation. how do i deal in a situation like this? and what should i do, i dont intend on leaving him, i just want this girl out of the picture because 1+1 shouldnt equal 3
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broke up, flirt, his ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): tell him straight, "do you want me or her" if he choses her then seriously hunny he isnt worth it. maybe she stopped talking because she didnt like you, or she was talking about her private life, not because she disliked you. but this isnt an excuse, if you dont like it then your bf should stop. try befriending sum1 ur bf hates, and c how he feels about it
xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2008): I think you sound great and I believe that you wouldnt have a problem if your bf was a bit more up front...he is not and lets get real this is 2008 he is being dishonest and wants his cake and eat it ....he loves all the attention you are giving him because guys in this situation are wanting their egos boosted.... real love is something else okay real love is kind and loyal and he is not being either therefore he is not worthy of you.... sit at a different table ignore him and pretend he doesnt exist... and if he asks what is going on tell him you are not interested in him any more act like you are bored of him....then focus on your studies act happy and really focus on yourself and your confidence where colors that you feel very confident in smile alot to your classmates and in your mind tell yourself you have won becoz u have got the most precious thing of all your dignity which is worth more than anything in the entire world !!You are 16 you dont need a guy to be happy and you are not desperate for his or anyones attention...make more friends dont get too intimate with guys until you know in your heart and soul that he is your soulmate...believe me ...and you will feel that you can hold your head up high...your studies will carry you far he is a waste of your intelligence !!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 April 2008):
 Totally with you and the moderator that titled your question. He is emotionally cheating on you and you absolutely have the right to call him on this. It's not unreasonable to ask him to be exclusive within your relationship, because up until now, he was being exclusive. Unfortunately, this girl who enjoys playing games has turned his head, and apparently plugged up his ears, 'cause he's not listening. It's not okay to be "friends" with a girl that you KNOW is hitting on you. Period. Not never, not no way, not no how.
I'm not sure how far you wish to take this, but if you don't put your foot down and make yourself clear, it might wind up playing out to her advantage, especially if he is drawing her picture in his books. Personally, I would consider leaving him over this. It might be best to leave first. He may wind up getting what he is wishing for and realizing that she isn't the girl that he thinks she is after all. Anyone one who likes to play games like this generally doesn't like to settle down or winds up making the guy's life a total misery. Sorry this wasn't more helpful. Best of luck with everything. XXX
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