A
male
age
,
*ch
writes:I have a problem of experiencing anxiety when I don't hear from my girlfriend. She will tell me she will call and when she doesn't I start thinking about all kinds of things that just isn't true. It always turns out to be no big deal at all, it's as if I'm over thinking things way too much. I hate the way this makes me feel, I would like to be able to get over this issue, our relationship is rather new, we've been dating for 4 months now. We really do have a lot in common, and we have a great time together whenever we are together. I can see us falling in love and being together for a long time. Any suggestions on how to deal with this problem would be greatly appreciated. The last thing I want to do is run her off because of something that was going on inside my head when there was nothing going on at all. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): You don't say what you are doing the rest of the time. Avoid spending too much time alone, go and see your family and friends because things can seem larger than life if you focus on worries.
A
female
reader, damomma  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Hello, this must be distressing for you, does it maybe make you feel a little out of control with your feelings?
It sounds as though the relationship is promising and you are perhaps anxious that it may not continue in the way that you hope it will.
Does your lady friend know how anxious you become when she doesn't call at the arranged time? Perhaps she is unaware that you are setting such store by her calls, she may well take that on board and try a little harder to be punctual so that you are less anxious. It might be that she doesn't fully appreciate how worried you become and if she does she will be better able to take that into consideration.
Would it help to avoid making appointments for calls and thereby remove the catalyst which seems to be a 'deadline'.
My feeling is though, that you are generally anxious that the relationship will end and it is clearly one you have great hope for.
Could you sit with her and talk these issues through, I think that the anxiety might be much less if you give her the opportunity to assure you or offer her own view.
I wish you all the very best in resolving this issue and if you would like to talk more, I am here.
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A
female
reader, Smellyellie +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Trust her.. This is the only way to get over it maybe even try a little bit if councelling as this can help get over anxiety...
If you want this relationship too work then you will do anything to help it too progress.. Good luck x
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