| A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: I rarely find any articles on dealing w/multiple tragedies and because of this I often feel SO alone, even though I have a large family that has gone thru alot of the same things. I suffer from chronic debilitating pain and most recently barely survived a housefire that killed my beloved pets We are often referred to as "The Kennedys" of the valley in which I grew up, because of the ‘bad luck’ which has plagued my family since the murder of my brother 13 yr.s ago. It seems it all started then, back in 1986. Of course, we had buried grandparents and friends of the family, but nothing could prepare us for the years ahead. After Tod’s murder at 17, my parents divorced ,and my father commited suicide, my sister died at 23, my 2 yr. old niece died of at 5 months of age, my 7 yr. old nephew was horribly killed in a drugged-driving accident, Mom died suddenly 2 months after the fire and during all of this time, I continue to suffer from several different illnesses that cause me to be in constant, severe physical pain and have recently learned my oldest brother has a terminal illness to name a bit of what I am going through. Most days are so dark, I cannot shower or even get dressed. I am still fairly young, .. How could this happen to innocent people? How can I GO ON? How do deal , with multiple tragedy? Does anybody here experienced anything like that?
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): Thank you, (I posted this...)It was very nice, that you understood my situation, and yes, it was possible, because you know someone, who went through hell, herself.It is very true... ''Every person has their breaking point. You seem to have reached yours.''It is a very different life you live after you’ve reached this point. Your chance for happiness is very low, or different. You live in a different dimension.But what I'm very thankful for, when someone like you, doesn't tell me stupid things, but has compassion. Because people hate to be compassionate. They compare very small incidents to my tragedy, and can’t see how far they are from this. It is a very lonely place to be because people are afraid of someone with so many problems. They like to believe in control, and cause and effect. I would like that too, but my life hasn’t given me a chance to experience this.Do you think it is selfishness, when people don't get it, or tell you things, like ''be positive''?Also, it is very hard for me to stop thinking ''WHY'' because it just doesn't make sense. It is absurd. But probably you are right. There are no answers. Yet, when a new bad thing happens, you wonder, how could it be so ''perfectly wrong'' every time?I would like to talk about this more, if you don't mind. Thank you again, for your kindness!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): 2010 was the most awful year for my family and I. Not the magnitude of your tragedies, but devastating nevertheless. From accidents, to death of a parent, cancer related deaths, work and marriage pressures, it was tough. But we are resilient, we are strong. we will overcome trials and tribulations. You have been through so much. I firmly believe that the Lord will not give you more than you can handle. You survived all the tragedies. You survived thus far and you will even though it seems as though you cannot take any more. You are made of stronger stuff and please remain strong.Maverick, great answer. Thank you.LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (15 February 2011):
 Maverick, what a wonderful answer! Excellent advice for you to think about OP.
Everyone deserves to be happy, even after all the bad luck. Have a look at local support groups, gives you the opportunity to meet new people, who are having hardships just like you are.
Stay strong, we are always here to help :)
...............................
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (15 February 2011):
First of all I´m very sorry to hear what you´ve been through. That´s just awful. Unfortunately words always ring hollow in these circumstances.
As for how to deal with it. Well, I think you´ve been holding yourself up remarkably well. Every person has their breaking point. You´ve seem to have reached yours. I think the only way to deal with this is to find happiness in some way. Ofcourse this is very easy to say and after what happened in your life, it almost sounds absurd.
I don´t know many people who suffered through such things, actually, I only know one: my grandmother. She survived being put in a concentration camp (by the Japanese) when she was a teen aside from being beaten so bad she lost a rib, she had to clean up beheaded corpses. Her first husband died when he was just in his thirties and the 2 husbands she had later in life died suddenly as well (stroke, car accident). Her son became an alcoholic and her daughter got MS at a young age.
But this is not about who has the worst past. I only posted this to show you that you're not alone because she also keeps telling me of her bad luck, and it's uncanny how many things go wrong in her life. It would have been almost funny if it wasn't so sad. Some people just get dealt bad cards. That's just how it is. No use wondering why because you'll never get an answer to that and it will only make you bitter.
What I would do if I were you is make a list of things you've always wanted to do but never got around to. Doesn't matter if it's absurd or not. And then just go ahead and do it. Anything that gets you away from where you are now and away from those memories. Waking up every day the way you are now is weighing you down (understatement of the year).
Also, these illnesses, are they treatable? Maybe it'll be worth looking into other solutions, like acupuncture. Ofcourse I'm just taking a stab in the dark here.
Lastly, keep remembering that there are still people out there worth living for. And though it sounds cheesy as hell, the loved ones you lost would not like to see you so unhappy. I think it would be wise to get counselling. The will is a powerful thing, but you need to get motivated first before you can get anywhere.
I wish you the best and if you ever just want to talk or rant, you can PM me or reply to this thread.
...............................
|
