A
female
age
22-25,
*ellarandom
writes:So I failed the year and got set back a year... I'm in a new class and I made friends (something that I didn't have for the past 2 years) and one guy (Gabri) started talking to me because I'm English (I live in Italy), after school we started chatting by text and we became friends quite quick. A few days later I became friends with someone else (Joy) that is also his friend... me and her became best friends quite quick, one day she told me that Gabe told her that he likes me and asked for help aka seeing if I feel the same way, I told Joy that I don't know how I feel because I've known Gabri for almost a week. Later that day he asked me if I liked him and I told him I don't know but I think I do, we decided to meet up as a sort of date and we chatted a bit then he kissed me... we agreed to start dating but not tell anyone, only our close friends know. It's been like 2 weeks since I knew him but I think I do like him but I'm scared to start dating him because I can get very jealous quick and I can be quite clingy... when I'm not at school I start to wonder what he is doing and who he is with and when other girls talk to him I feel sad even though I know that it's nothing and I'm just being silly... also one thing that he does is try to French kiss me but I don't want to now plus I don't know how... he has tried twice in the past week... what do? How do I stop being jealous? What should I do about him trying to French kiss me? He is my first boyfriend and first kiss so I have no experience with this stuff :/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (6 November 2017):
 You're still young, you're inexperienced with guys and relationships and it's all very normal.
Try not to be jealous, because jealousy is a curse and will only hurt you in the present moment and the future.
Look at things from a very simple perspective.
If something is meant to be, it will be and you won't have to beg, worry, be clingy about the status of that relationship.
If something isn't meant to be, you'll eventually come to know and you can let go and move on to find somebody better suited to you.
It really is that simple.
Your mindset is what requires a form of resetting.
Allow everything in your life to flow as it's meant to flow and yes, you will undoubtedly encounter good and bad experiences, but it's all part of growing up and learning.
In the end, all experiences, both good and bad will only make you bigger, better and stronger, so try not to worry about things in which you have no control over.
In reference to your bf wanting to French kiss you.
You tell him very clearly that you do not want to be French kissed by him and you are not ready for that at this point in time.
Let him know that you are young and you don't want to rush into anything intimate with him or with anybody else at this point in time.
If he truly respects and cares for you, he will be happy to wait and he'll accept and respect your choices.
Also, please remember that as you're both young, there are going to be other boys/girls that you're attracted to and that will take YOUR fancy, even if just in a platonic manner.
It's all part of growing up and it's all quite normal, provided it's all kept strictly platonic.
If you see this guy talking to other girls, that's fine and that's very normal.
You cannot expect him to stop looking at and talking to every single girl, just because you like him and he likes you and because you're together.
He too, cannot expect you to stop talking to other guys.
You're both young, you're both growing up and exploring everything around you and yes, this includes for the most part, people! Both female/male.
This will continue for the rest of your life and for the rest of his life.
You will both come into contact at various times, with people that you both find, "attractive, affable, interesting, fun, etc;.
You cannot deny this guy the right to entertain others and to express his true feelings about anybody, even if it is another girl.
If you would like to pursue a long term relationship with this guy, you're going to have to learn to relax into the relationship and not get overly emotional and feel jealous, each and every time he talks to other girls.
If you do find it hard to deal with/accept, then your relationship is doomed to fail.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (27 September 2017):
 Well I have 2 bits of advice for you. 2 weeks is pretty soon to be pushing for that kind of kissing, and you are not comfortable with it yet. You need to communicate that to him in clear language. He should understand that you do not consent to that activity now.
Second if you attach too quickly and get ownership so badly you have to train yourself. I'm going to suggest a method that parents have used for decades. Young people have resisted it for decades as well. both of these are because it works. Have a rule that you don't date the same boy 2 times in a row. That you date someone else in between. This probably sounds strange and confusing to you. The idea is to keep your emotions confused so you don't attach so quickly. The side benefit is you get to meet more guys. you will better understand what it is you want when you are ready to start serious courting.
Nothing cures jealousy like knowing there are other fish in the sea that are also interested in you.
FA
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