A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:so ive written on here before..i have mixed feelings about my relationship..maybe its not my bf..maybe its me..ive had alot of bad luck w/ guys and i feel ive let them walk all over me..so in this relationship, im trying to communicate more and not let them take advantage.I dont know whats a valid thing to break up over anymore.. im torn - i like this guy soo much. we've been together 5 mo. my bf and i get along great, he makes me laugh, hes goofy - we have fun. But he tends to be a loner and if i spent the night, id have to go home cos he would have to run errands, instead of me driving (he has a motorcycle and i have a car).So he promised to do more things w me and try not to be a loner. So this wk he made an effort and we did things together, we had a blast.Sometimes i feel hes selfish - yeah he calls me daily justa bout sometimes 2-3 times a day but i hate it when i txt him and he doesnt get back to me till the next day, i mean it takes 2 sec? but if its something that regards him (like if i have somethin for him) he;ll respond right away. Another issue we've had is him hardly wanting to have sex.. he says im gorgeous loves having sex w/ me and that im great in bed but it hardly happens.He thinks hes fat, unnattractive - even if i reassure him.I like him alot but sometimes i feel like maybe we should break up cos hes a loner, we hardly have sex and sometimes hes selfish..and then alot of the time i look at him and im like.. i love him, i can see myself with him. He constantly talks about the future too - marriage, kids, living together..I'm super sensitive and hes moody/sensitive and we;re the same sign (cancer). i like to discuss things..and he claims he does too but he gets overwhelmed when i bring up concerns. ive talked about breakin up cos maybe he might need someone more opposite..or i say maybe he doesnt have time for a gf and he freaks out and is like nooooo.. i love you, ill make more time for u.yes he is trying though..but i dunnoI'm just having trouble dealing and my negative/man hating mother doesnt help.she puts thoughts into my head..and makes me even more upset..(she doesnt hate men..shes been burned alot)she tells me..seems like he'd make more time for you if he cared bout u (he calls daily and we see each other about 2-3 times a wk..and have sex once a wk(wish it were way more))
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pink_daisy +, writes (3 February 2011):
 Lets go to the root of this: you gain close-ness emotionally through sex when you are in a loving, committed relationship. Sex is where it all begins. If you can't be honest in bed, express yourself in bed, you won't feel so secure doing it with your boyfriend OUT of bed. So if he doesn't want to connect in this way, you never will be able to TRULY connect at the best possible level.
Also, consider this: You're in your late 20's, and your sexual peak is your 30's. If he already doesn't have a high sex drive, that won't change. If anything, the older he gets, the more it'll regress. So if sex is really important to you, consider the fact that you're most likely ALWAYS going to want it more often than him and consider that it may drive you to the point of seeking satisfaction else where.
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