A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i'd honestly never thought to see myself on one of these websites.. i'm 5 months pregnant and been married for a little over a month now. ive been with him for only 6 months. which i know sounds horrible, but my parents are old fashion and the situation kinda pushed us to that edge. i choose not to say my age for the fact that i feel if i do, i could be judged and get comments i don't want to hear.. i'm under my 20s and my husband is 6 years older than me. when we first started dating he told me his past, i told him mine- which now i think was a huge mistake- up to then, everything was fine. i knew he watched porn by the sex positions he wanted to try, which was no problem at all for me, i watched porn here and there.. i mean who doesn't? we even watched porn before sex to kinda keep the flame going, though it was never often that we did. to about a month before we got married, he confessed to me that his last engagedment came to an end fue to the fact he was addicted to porn, masturbated to women's pictures on facebook (and saved some on his phone for "later") went on dating sites, talked to both men and women. i was in shock, but honestly did not effect my affection towards him. i asked him if he had done it recently, of course he said no, the only thing he had done recently was watched porn- and i believed him. about a week ago, he started acting incredibly different. aggressive, getting mad over everything; with out exaggeration. he's made me cry more this week than the past months. he's current unemployed because he had a problem with his boss and was fired when he asked for his two weeks. i honestly have no problem with his unemployment, he's putting in applications and helps around the house when i'm at work. the other day he told me that he fantasizes about a threesome, especially when we have sex from behind. says he images me doing oral to a women. ive had a threesome in the past, and because of that experience i am truly disgusted by them. but he's always mentioning it and gets mad or takes it as a joke when i say to stop. a couple days ago we were having greater sex than usual, and out of no where he says, "sorry" i'm puzzled, so i ask "for what?" he says, "i was thinking about someone else" i was honestly heartbroken and didn't even want to continue. he later on told me he was starting to get addicted to pregnant women porn, and was sexually arosed by seeing naked pregnant women and a page dedicated to "the beauty of a naked pregnancy" followed me. he saw and followed them on his own. i asked him to delete them, since i knew why he followed them in the first place, he argued a little bit but eventually agreed. today at work, i opened up my social network at break to see he had followed them again. i called him asked him why he did it, and he just apologized and blocked the page (later on showed me it was blocked)i'm not sure if i mentioned, he's insanely jealous, and always accusing me of cheating. which i haven't nor has he ever found a reason to distrust in me. when i got home he asked me to delete all the men from my page, except family and church members. i agreed. everything seemed fine are day went up hill, it's all okay. but when i go to his likes, i see that he had like a old friends pictures in which all of them had his ex fiancé in. of course i am furious by this point, because if it was me doing all of this, he would have been gone! he lied and lied and lied to me all day! by the time we went to bed, i had "forgiven" him but had not forgotten so i asked, "is there anything else you need to tell me, or should i found out?" he assured me he had just watched porn. i said okay. i woke around 4am, his phone light was on as if someone had just moved it or had finished charging so it caught my attention. i went on his internet pages and it had been on this chat.. he had been talking to people all day!! i was truly disgusted by him, my heart stopped. i even felt the baby kick a bit harder than usual. i woke him up, he first insulted me and said why would i go on his phone this late. later on he apologized and blamed his unemployment for his mistakes. he hugged me. and i just asked him, when was the last time that you went on that page before today... he told me before he met me. after he went back to sleep i went back on his phone to see that he was on in january and december.. i didn't have the heart to keep looking into more details. i am devastated at the moment, i'm confused, my body hurts. i'm supposed to be getting ready for my GED class and work in a little bit and he's staying home another day.... i just, i really don't know what to do. i want to run, but i feel it's my obligation to stay. i just don't know how to deal with a lying husband.
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addicted to porn, at work, engaged, facebook, heartbroken, his ex, jealous, porn, threesome Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 February 2015):
 HOLY CRAP! For you to have married this guy, you would have needed your parents' attention by law. Your husband, being 6 years older, could have gone to jail for this. Was this a "shotgun marriage" arranged to keep him out of jail, or to avoid legal issues?? You're in the US, and the age of consent is 18 (17 in some states when the guy is no more than 3 years older).
You should never be married for the wrong reasons. You may be the teenager, but he's the one who is acting shamefully immature. If you both feel trapped in this, you shouldn't stay together. There are other options!
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 February 2015):
 Your husband has a sexual addiction. When you confront his computer use it does nothing but push him to do more because it's forbidden fruit. You could turn a blind eye on it but that doesn't help with your needs to be loved. You would say getting married is the right thing to do, it forces him to take responsibility. The stress of being a father and unemployed makes him want to escape even more, and that is more adult sites.
He is not acting like a husband. Your names are in paper but he is still acting single as he wishes. Right now your focus is on the unborn baby. It is not time to divorce your husband just yet but he might not give up his sexual addiction even after the baby is born.
You were with him for one month and pregnant for 5 months so there wasn't much time to develop love, which is an important foundation if it were to last a life time. You have what it's called a shotgun wedding. Your parents hope that in time he would mature and be a better person. Let's hope your child could change him but you can't count on it. In the meantime you also have to further your studies and prepare to be financially independent from him.
Your relationship is heavily sexual focused. Maybe you could tell him to try to learn what emotional connection is. Is "caring," "empathy" even in his vocabulary? Besides "orgasm" and "fetish?" Don't be surprised he isn't interested though. I know you are still very young and learning yourself but you can't teach someone how to have a relationship.
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