A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I currently started dating this new guy and everything is going great only problem is that he is insatiable. We have only been on two dates and we have spent both nights together however the first night we just made out and I spent the night there because it was raining and I don't like to drive in the rain so he told me I could spend the night. The second date took place a couple of days later it was raining again so he took me to work and picked me up again and we went out bowling and dinner then back to his place. We got back to his place around 11 that night and started making out and around 11:30 we were in his bed naked. We finished the first round around 12:30 and cuddled and got water and everything then like 15 min later he was ready to go again. I was like great turn around time let's go. This time lasted until 2 and he didn't even finish I was like I'm done I have to be up at 7 in the morning I can't feel my legs let sleep. He started to try again 5 min later I told him no my vagina is swollen I'm dry just no. He kept probing saying he has lube and that he only finished that first time then when I wasn't giving in he got on top of me and started kissing me then went down on me and said that i will give in sooner or later. I finally gave in and we started again but it started to become painful so I told him I couldn't do it so he stopped. We cuddled for like 5 min then he started again this time he got lube and we went again for about 15 min before I couldn't. This kept going on till about 3:30 finally we went to sleep. But during the night he kept touching and even attempted to have sexvwih me but I moved away. When the alarm went off at 7 first thing he did was jump on me and we had sex until 7:45. Then I had to get in the shower and get ready and he joined me and wanted to have sex in there but I told him I I was going to be late but he still tried we didn't get out the shower until 8:20 then I had to rush everything else in order for me to be on time. We have been texting since then and he told me that he is sorry that it wasn't that good and that he is going to stop masturbating so he can last longer but I can't handle it anymore. How do I deal with this? I can't handle it. I'm already exhausted after one night and I'm not looking forward to another night long marathon.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2017): I appreciate all your feedback and I think we did move a little fast. It will be nice to meet somewhere and get to know him more. However the first night we did not have sex we stayed up till like 2 talking about random things and the second night the date started at 5 that day and we didn't get back to his place till 11. I know talking with a guy for 16 hours doesn't mean I know him and I agree that his sex drive is way higher than mine. So I will tell him straight out that we need to take a step back and get to know each other more and each other sexual needs
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (17 August 2017):
 You don't have a relationship with this guy, all you have is 2 nights of butty call, where he and you had sex, on the second night you found out that the two of you are sexually incompatible.what exactly did he apologize for, as I get he is more worried about his not cumming than the fact that he did not respect you, this guy sounds like a creator out of American Pie has not much experience and is not open to learning, and has got some bad ideas in his head.unless you want to be a teacher and see something in this guy worth working with I would say learn from the experience yourself and move on,AUNT Dionne is right you moved too quickly, If you wish to hold on to this guy you need to go on a few dates where sex is not on the menu, then if you think you want to try sex spend a night or even a weekend together and have a talk about it and I think he needs to learn to respect you and learn that sex is not about taking but about giving
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (17 August 2017):
 OP, he cannot respect you enough to make no mean no and you are not firm enough in setting those boundaries.
Honestly, I think that the two of you moved too quick and that's part of the problem. It's too soon for you to be staying over at his in my opinion.
Next, have dates on mutual ground and I agree with a previous aunt that said to leave sex out of it. Get to know each other more if it's something that you wish to continue on with for some reason. If not, I suggest leaving this guy alone altogether.
He seems to have a higher sex drive than you do. If you find that it really is a problem and that you and your lady bits cannot keep up, then speak to him about it. After all, the vagina is a delicate body part that doesn't deserve the treatment that yours got that night.
Next time when you say no, mean it or leave if he doesn't stop but do not give in or he'll never give you the respect that you deserve.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2017): All the signs indicate that he has been sex starved for too long and has been using his hand too often.It is like someone who is out of a long famine and is offered a table full of delicious food. I am inclined to agree with Denizen that he might become normal after a while .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2017): For goodness sake. .. you have only seen him twice and had sex both times .... hmmm..be a grown up and have a chat with him ...go on dates !!no sex!!
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (16 August 2017):
 Honeypie is right. You have just given in to whatever he wanted. Try using that little word, 'No'.
The other thing that crosses my mind is that he may not have sexual contact for some time so he has a lot of catching up to do. That won't last. This time next year, if you are still together, he won't be keeping up the same tempo. You can lay money on that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2017): No means no. He ignored you, even when you said you were swollen and it was painful.
To me this is a MASSIVE RED FLAG. The guy is using you as his plaything, an object to get off with and has not respected you by repeatedly ignoring you. Trying to touch you in your sleep is sexual assault and could be rape, you can't consent in your sleep.
Just get away from the guy before things are serious. I assume you were using condoms as it was only your second date, if not get checked for STI's.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 August 2017):
 I think your issue is that you don't know how to set boundaries.
YOU tell a guy no, then it doesn't mean "that I will give in sooner or later" - NO. That is him saying that he doesn't RESPECT you saying no. That he can "make" a no mean yes.
Think about it. Let's say you two had a big dinner and you were full. A couple of hours later he wants to eat but not alone so he tells you that YOU have to eat too, you tell him no and he just starts to force feed you... And then a couple of hours later he does the same.
THIS guy has no respect for you. Probably because he doesn't really know you.
He is more interested in having AS MUCH sex as he can, rather than LISTENING to you telling him, OK I have work and have to get up at 7 - I'm tired and dry/swollen - no more sex tonight.
YOU are so afraid that he will dump you if you say no? Or are you not sure HOW to say no?
My advice? don't have "dates" at his house or yours. It's ONLY been two dates and BOTH of them were in a setting where YOU couldn't leave. How is that being smart?
Have dates out in public and go your separate ways at the end of the date.
Or even better you NEED to have an awkward conversation about consent and boundaries.
It's LOVELY that he is SO into you that he wants sex a LOT with you. BUT it's NOT lovely at all!!!! that he doesn't respect you saying no. You have in your post pointed out that you told him NO several times and he ignored it. Last time in the shower which he ended up NOT pushing for but he STILL tried! He should have said OK and LET you shower and get ready.
Personally? You barely know this guy. If he has NO concept of consent, no concept of boundaries and NO respect for a girl saying no, there is NO way in HADES I would date him.
This whole post you wrote seemed more like a guy who was obsessed with his new "toy" (you) than a guy trying to get to know a girl he is dating.
You seem to think it's a number of times he wanted to have sex that is the problem. It's not. It's his LACK of respect for boundaries and you.
Honestly? I think he is a "dud" a - "nope not this guy for me". I don't think you two are well matched sexually at all. And if YOU can't say NO and mean it, he is definitely the wrong partner as well as he doesn't respect a no.
SAY what you mean, and mean what you say.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (16 August 2017):
I think you have already answered your question..when you stated you.....you cannot handle it.This man seems to have a very high sex drive as some people do.However the choice is yours [1] Have an indept with him on this level and tell him how you feel.[2]Finish with him and hoplefully meet someone less demanding and that you can also enjoy his company.Best Wishes.NORA B.
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