A
female
age
30-35,
*na123
writes:Ok my boyfriend just asked for a break! it sucks!! It came up all of a sudden for me. We arent seeing other people which im really really happy about but this hurts!! He wants No communication between us. he decided to have this break and when it will be over. I have been with him for 16 months! I did make the mistake of calling him asking questions and crying i know that wasnt a smart move! but i have been soo upset these pass few days it hasnt even been a week. my real question is how do i cope with this and is it over for us??
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female
reader, Ana123 +, writes (21 August 2009):
Ana123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell of course im still going through the break. Thank you for every ones answer but i just want to mention that. I cant just let him go! we have never really had big problems when ever we did we spoke about it very open! and came to an agreement... this break is not so hard because i cant see him but because i have no real yes or no that we are going to break up... that is what hurts the most!! if he would have told me sooner maybe it would be a break just to give each other space and thats it! we are not married engaged or anything like that but we seen each other every chance we got. maybe thats why this happened.Well i have to keep my head up high and hope for the best.. he said he didnt want too get all his stuff bac from my house he wants to try the break..which could be a good sign right??.. thanks again ill let you guys know what happens in the end!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): Okay. There's a possibility that he just needs to get in touch with himself again--feel independent and get to know himself. Maybe he feels like he got caught up in the relationship too soon and he lost a part of himself that he wants back. There's also a possibility that he needs some space. Maybe he's going through something that's hard to explain or he doesn't want to explain and just needs time to himself and needs a lot of space. Give him that. Get in touch with yourself, too. You sound kind of dependent on him for happiness, which isn't good. Find happiness yourself. Go out with friends, or just do something that makes you happy and find yourself again. If this is just a break and not a break-up, taking the time out for you both to know yourselves again will be good for the relationship.
Also, if he does decide to end things, taking time to have fun and realize that you want him but you don't need him will also help you figure out that if he breaks up with you, you'll be just fine on your own. It works out both ways. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, heartbroken . x  +, writes (19 August 2009):
He seems really mean to you sweetie !I would just move on and show him what hes missing out on . It will take awhile but there is always a good reason , just try it and if you still cant get him out of your head in about 2 months . Talk to him . hope it helps heartbroken xx
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A
female
reader, Rosy +, writes (19 August 2009):
There is no such thing as a temporary break so its over! These breaks are just a way of tellin someone you dont want them! Just start trying to get over him, if he wants you back then its his loss not yours, because if he really wanted you he wouldnt have wanted any sort of split, temporary or not!
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (19 August 2009):
 My experience with breaks is that if they come up all of the sudden and there really isn't a reason for them then it usually is the beginning of the end of a relationship. Breaks for a reason, a cooling off period for instance or if one or the other has a big test or challenge ahead of them, might be a good thing. However, breaks with no communication all of the sudden usually mean that the breaker is thinking about life with out the breakee and wants to try it.
There really shouldn't be "time outs" without definition in a relationship. What would you do if you were married. If there is an issue, you work it out. You don't escape from relationships or commitments.
I risk being the odd person out here but if someone told me for no reason they wanted a break from a 16 month relationship I would give them a break up and I would move on. It wouldn't be easy but for me, I wouldn't want to spend a month or whatever the "time out" is for thinking things will get back to what they were because really they never will and I would never be able to trust that person again to work things out. I'd always be waiting for the next "break."
Good luck.
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