A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:People i need some advice, i need to know how to get over a girl. She is still my dreamgirl, she broke up with me because i wasnt following up on my promesses. and because i didnt have the balls to take steps in the relationship, i wasnt ready yet, but if i look back at the situation, i would have done everything in order to stay with her and have her in my life.we have split up quite some time ago, a few months, but we stayed in touch, we never stopped making phonecalls and talking to eachother, even tho she was dating people.I wasnt over her at all, i wanted to win her back and she knew this (it was pretty obvious). Also i got jealous when she would go on a date.when i met her after the break up she told me that she loved me, but that she also hates me at the same time for ruining our relationship. She told me it was easy for me to win her heart back. But I didnt want to give in and show her that I love her too with all my heart, she however, felt it. she wouldnt have taken me back as we are still in the same problems that broke us up.But now recently, we had one of our arguments, she told me i wasnt acting like a friend should, and that i irritate her by wanting to win her back. since then she asked me to stop contacting her untill i am over her, and untill she is rid of the bitter taste i left in her mouth. This person was also my only and best friend. What do you think this means? I find it very hard to function when i feel this miserable. I would do anything for this girl, i just realised it too late what she meant to me.You should know this was a long distance relationship, and i cant just go around and see her.., I would like some advise on: how do i cope with losing the girl i still love and have a huge gutted feeling aboutdo you think there would ever be a chance of me and her being together if we lived in the same place?Should I go see her when she decides to talk to me again? I want this person in my life, she's the most beautiful, cheerful and funny person i know. We were together for 3 years and I had already planned a future with her. However I always put my studies first in these 3 years, but they are over soon.sorry for the long text, it also helped me venting...
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (6 June 2011):
 how far away do you live? you could always do the big romantic gesture and just turn up on her doorstep anyway and then talk, tell her that you realise your mistakes and promise that things will be different now (you would have to MEAN this though, an empty promise is not worth listening to)
when you say you broke your promises what does that mean? when you say you had one of your arguments, what does that mean? when you say that she tells you the problems that broke you up are still there, what does that mean??
are you sure that this girl is being fair to you? it sounds like you are accepting all the blame for the relationship break down and she was the perfect one is that REALLY the case? or do you think that maybe she was demanding things that you could not give and that's why she split from you. i think it is perfectly reasonable that you would want to pursue your studies but she obviously thought she she was more important.
have a good think about the true situation. make sure that getting back with her is what you *really* want rather than being influenced by the feelings of missing her and jealousy about the new men in her life
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