A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am dating a great guy I met at work. We have known each other for almost two years and been dating for six months. Over these months I've gotten to know him much better and we have gotten quite close. However, we've had to go through some difficult situations together almost constantly since we started dating, including my mom being in hospital, important work issues and the death of his dad three weeks ago after a long illness. We have supported each other through each of these moments.My boyfriend is very affected about his dad's passing, goes through mood swings and is much more withdrawn. Going from crisis to crisis in the last six months, it has been difficult to figure out our relationship separately from all of the happenings. Just before my boyfriend's dad passed away it seemed like we had finally gotten to a stage where we were really open and affectionate with each other. Now that he is grieving I have a hard time figuring out what my role is in the relationship. I've been worrying about him a lot and feeling his pain and I've come to realise how strong my feelings are for him. Unfortunately, as this is also a time when he's been withdrawn and less affectionate, my heart hurts and I feel insecure even though on a mental and compassionate level I understand that his behaviour most likely has nothing at all to do with me.How do I cope with my conflicting feelings, continue to support him and make our relationship stronger?
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female
reader, Denizli  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 It won't be easy.You both have been through alot of bad stuff.It sounds like he hasn't recovered from his father's loss yet and its completely understable, so now your relationship is like falling apart or at least that's how it feels cause you have your own problems but also his problems and supporting him and being there for him, that must be exhausting.I think he should go get professional help, because sooner or later you'll get tired of this situation and he will be left alone and that would be pretty hard for him, it's gonna be a long way but if you both are in love I'm sure you won't fall out for this.
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