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male
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*rtdragon
writes: How do i cope with a longdistance marriage?Well ive only been married for about a year 1/2 now and we have a 18months daugther. The problems i have is this is the first time my whole family have been separated and its affecting my marriage with her because she goes out every weekend and she have a recently close male freind that she just me over there, i try not to call her too much because i dont want her to think that im not giving her space so most often i tell her to call me but when she calls me we cant hardly talk because she always have reasons not to talk to me either she tired or she call me when she's with her freinds and lately it seems like me and her are growing apart because i feel like im just holding her back on what ever she's been doing over there on her free time, i dont feel love, missed or appriciated anymore, its like she's only calling me now just to tell me what she's gonna be doing afterwork or this weekend.I try to be more understanding and trusting her but the way we are right now i dont know what else can i do
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reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (17 September 2006):
 You didn't state why the long distance. The reason makes a huge difference if it will work.
Long distance relationship are extremely hard to maintain. Considering that she is going out every weekend and has new friends then some of her needs are not being met by you 'giving her space'. You need to talk to her ask her what she needs from you.
Because your not there you need to increase the amount of love you show to her to make up for the lack of your presence. She is missing the little smiles when she catches you admiring her, she is missing the support of your help with your baby, and she is without you. This adds up to a lot to make up in a day while your apart but it can be done. Writing her love notes everyday, sending flowers or little surprises to her, calling every night to 'tuck' her in, etc will help. This is the time you need to re-court your wife, treat her like you just started dating and get in the game and save your marriage before it is too late.
If you fill her needs then she will stop looking elsewhere to have them met.
GOOD LUCK!
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