A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Soooo me and this guy were seeing eachother for 4 months. The relationship was so rocky it wasn't funny! Every (bleeping) week he would find some excuse of why he couldn't be with me. Then when i tried to leave he would come back and say "baby i need you and i love you." Sure enough, i would go back. But it continued and i convinced myself that maybe he was confused.,i had gotten used to him leaving. Then last night it all came to an end. He told me the real reason he couldn't be with me was because there was another girl that he's been talking to the whole time and she's a sweet girl and he couldn't do it to her no more. Total blow and kick to the stomach. I waa so hurt i went numb. I felt soooo stupid for allowing this to happen for so long. Now im hurting and he's trying to go on with his life. So how do i cope with such hurt.? Please do tell. Btw i completely cut him off!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI cannot tell you how good your answers have made me feel! All of you :). It really made me open my eyes to what was going on. Thanks to you all.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (10 January 2013):
Dear OP,Don't feel stupid. You know, you learn from your mistakes, that's more true than you think. I guess everyone who just gave you advice has once dated someone who turned out to be a mistake/asshole/liar/whatsoever.You trusted him and you were willing to give him a try. This shows you are generally a nice and forgiving person, which is a good thing, you just need to learn now that there are some people who don't deserve your kindness. I also learned this the hard way.Distract yourself. Go out, exercise, watch great movies, anything that keeps your mind from this idiot.You can also write a letter to him (that you don't have to send, it's just for you), where you express your feelings and what he's done to you and how he doesn't deserve you.You are gonna move on, too. And you're sure gonna find a better one than this (bleeping) idiot.
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 I think the important thing is what you have learnt from this relationship. You now know what signs to look for next time.Remember you deserve better than that and you WILL get a better man than that IF you believe you deserve it.People do some horrible things in relationships, just try not to get lost in resentment and bitterness and focus on making yourself happy.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 January 2013):
 You were dating an emotional yo-yo who used you while chatting up another girl, when he got to the point where she "might" want to date him he dropped you.
Learn from this, if a guy keep saying he can't date you for XYZ reasons, walk away. You can't make them want to date you, but you can prevent them from taking full on advantage of you.
I'm glad you cut him off completely, he isn't worth your time.
It's only been 4 month and you said it was rocky from the get go. So take some time and reflect on this relationship. It will hurt for a while, but you will realize that you can do so much better then this fella.
When he said SHE was a sweet girl and didn't deserve this, he wasn't saying that you aren't. But he was hinting at it, most likely because he didn't want to take responsibility for HIS actions. What a wuss.
Chin up.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (10 January 2013):
 I agree with Anonymous 123, you should have walked the first time he said he diden't want to be with you. whats done is done now, all you can do is learn from this mistake and move on. The positive that comes out of relationships that don't work is hindsight, we know not to make that same mistake again.
I know its painful and it hurts right now, but i assure you it will get better, time is the healer of all things. Get back out there, have fun with your mates, be joyous, and you will meet your perfect partner when you least expect it.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (10 January 2013):
 OP you were treated very badly by your ex but you chose to be treated like that. The very first time that he told you he couldn't be with you, you should have told him, "Fine, your loss. Goodbye." But you didn't, and the fact that you kept going back to him showed him that he could treat you like dirt because no matter what, you would still go back to him.
Let him go to hell now, if he's that fickle and was two-timing you then he's awful anyway. You don't want to be with a guy like that who's a liar and a cheat.
Cut him off completely and don't go back to him no matter what. The hurt will eventually die down, it has to and it always does. Till then, thank your stars that you've gotten rid of this guy for good. At least its put an end to all the endless games of breaking up and getting back together and now you know where you stand.
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