A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Thanks in advance for any help =)Ok, here is my situation. I just turned 30 and I had my share of pain in relationships and, because of that, I had a long period when I couldnt fall in love anymore. Until about 10 months ago I met my girlfriend, who made me feel whole again, and I now can say that I do love her. I never loved anyone like this before, and she states the same. We are so close, that we often finish each other sentences, say things at the same time, and so on.... Well, the thing is, because of a bad role model (abscent, divorced father) she fears that I'll reveal myself as a jerk, who cheats on her, which I have never done before to no one, and never would do that to her. Because of this, she has toooo much jealousy, and so, we fight a lot more than I'd think would be reasonable. When we fight, I'm the calm one, and she says awful things about me. Last week she stormed out of our table at a family dinner, because I hugged a cousin (who I see as a baby sister), all in front of my parents and everybody. The alternating of fights and wonderful moments is killing me, and last night I lost it and said things I didnt mean (like she is too immature, and sometimes not a woman yet)... Now her sad face doesnt leave my mind, and I'm really sorry about that. I called her and we had a reasonable talk, I said how I'm really sorry, but she says that she will be hurt for a long time, and we need to see if we can be together again.Sorry for the long post! Cheers.
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cousin, divorce, immature, jealous, period Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ms.help with anything13 +, writes (23 August 2012):
Ok well 1.you had the RIGHT to call her immature.2.I say that because she's allowed to jump to conclusions but when you react to wat she has said you end up feeling guilty no offence to her and all but thats messed up big time.3.her having issues with her dad is an excuse because I have issues with my dad to he's not here for me like he should be i have 6 other brothers and sisters by him,and out of us 7 he pays most of his attention to the 2 oldestI have cried and been heartbroken with so much emotional pain by it YES definately do i wish he would just get completly out of my life and put me out of my pain yes but do i use at as an excuse for being jealousEven though im not a jealous person. so she cant use that as an excuse.But hey weather YOU want to fix things even though its not your fault?Personally i think its all on her what you said to her wasn't over the top its wat she needs to here.If it was me i would've been then gone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to both of you for the reply!
Sageoldguy1465, I'll look into my actions with that in mind ("BOTH OF YOU have an immature streak"), maybe I can learn something from that.
Anonymous, she didn't apologise, at least not directly. What she did said is that she has regrets, yet I'm still waiting for a formal apology. I talked to her yesterday, and she said no one has never said those things to her, and I think that is exactly the problem. Maybe she had to hear that, someday. I wish that it was not me the one who had to say it. Oh well... Thanks again!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 August 2012):
If the two of you are toxic to one-another, it's OK to admit that and go your separate ways....
That said.... the lead-in of your submittal reveals that BOTH OF YOU have an immature streak that could use addressing.... perhaps by confiding in a counselor or a trusted mentor/friend...
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2012): She does sound immature to be honest. She can humiliate you in front of your family, but you can't snap back at her? Then she makes you feel guilty for the way that YOU acted?
Did she apologise to you for the way that SHE acted or are you the one smoothing things over? It sounds like she has serious jealousy issues and it's her problem not yours. Without outside help things won't change.
Only you can decide if the relationship is worth the drama. Personally I'd walk away.
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