A
female
age
36-40,
*sabella1987
writes:Hi everyone! I need help for my relationship with my boyfriend who I date 2years now. We've move to his home town 2months ago and now I came back to Arizona because he been listen to his family. He take advice from them and fight with me.Especially his mom. She don't like me and he is mama's boy. So, I left him for that reason.But i still love him and think about to back to him.But I want to know how to control him to not to listen to his family. What can I do? Can I change him and ask for it. How can I talk to him and what i ganna say to him.?? I am not good talker. But he dose. Please help me!!! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): Hi
How old is your boyfriend? And men aren't dumb you know. They share a beautiful bond with their mother because she nourished them (in her womb and out of it), cooks for them, takes care of them when they are sick and really, in this world a mother's love is the only one that can safely be said to be the purest form of love. So... You DON'T MESS WITH A GUY'S MOTHER!
Snap out of it. And, as for you controlling him and he listening to his mom... what is this? A fight for territory? You are never never never never ever going to win this one. Not just with your boyfriend but any other man in the world. As for his deep affection with his mom, you should be happy about it and respect her. Maybe that will give you some points and warm him up to you. And, really, between a relatively new girlfriend who questions his mom's authority and his Mother... he will always choose his mom. They only way you can win is by being sweet and understanding and not making him choose. Ever.
Besides, you don't really love him,if you want to control him. You need to accept this fact and hopefully, not want to control the next man in your life. I realize that it is always very nice to have a man who dances to your tune, but that isn't really a man, just a little toy and you will get bored of that kind very soon.
So... listen to Pink Topaz and Celiaaletta (and any other 'aunt') that say the same as them and just forget about this issue. You do not want to be at loggerheads with somebody's mom. And, you cannot control anyone. Don't even think about it.
I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it happens to be the truth.
Love
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 October 2009):
If you want to control someone all you have to do is read biographies on Hitler or Stalin...I'm sure they can give you good tips on how to control a person or even a mass of people!
In all seriousness you can't control someone. You shouldn't even want to control someone--wanting to control someone isn't good behavior itself. He's a mama's boy, they're annoying and not going to change, he'll always pick his mom first and do what she says. So either you can deal with it or not. I suggest not, because it's not something you're willing to tolerate. You can find a nice guy that isn't a mama's boy, but don't try to control him either.
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