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female
age
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anonymous
writes: I wonder how can you communicate with your grown up children.My daughter going to university, and we have very little communication.We are talking on the phone, and she is very nice, but when I ask any question, she won't answer ,or gets a little insulted.... So, I don't dare to ask anything, because I want to have a warm relationship, but I feel, if it would go like that, I'm sure the honesty would be gone , and I don't know how would I know, if she is dealing with some serious issues or she is ok. How can I deal with this?
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 The older I got, the smarter my parents became.
For a while I knew it all -- wish I could go back to those days when I was so smart. As life went on, I found I had more to discuss with my parents.
Continue to make it clear that you're there for her, that you're always available to *listen*. As she grows and matures in her adult life, she'll seek your counsel and your company once again. That's all we can do as parents.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): Oh man, this is one of the hard things in life, letting go. Mine left and came back and is still here, but I know it won't last forever. I do remember how hard it was, the first week he would phone on his way to work, as time went on it was less and less, I would get the a phone call now and then asking for cooking advice. He has said since how homesick he got, and he would appear out of no where. How do you deal with it, I think the best way as hard as it is, is to let them have the space they want, she will come to you when she needs you. This is the next stage of being a parent perhaps the hardest. Remember she has left for uni she will be back this is a time for her to grow.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 She's experiencing her "true" independence for the first time. This means she's not going to want to talk to you a whole lot right now. She's out discovering who she is, making her own decisions and dealing with the consequences. Now is one of the hardest points in your life because you have to trust that you raised her right and that the lessons you've taught her during her life to this point will hold over for her.
I think the best thing you can do is let her know you're always there if she needs you. Still call, talk about the basics, and anything else she may wish to talk about. As she matures a bit, she'll open back up to you. It will just take some time.
As for dealing with it, do you have anything to keep you occupied? Maybe a new hobby, home improvements that need to be done, etc. If you fill your time with activities, the nest may not feel so empty. Evenutally you'll adjust, it just takes time.
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