A
male
age
26-29,
*unterNightshade
writes:I am a FTM transgender and gay, meaning I like men. I am currently dating a questioning but that is not the problem. This is my problem. How do I come out to my parents as transgendered when they're transphobic? This is very crutial as I want to come out as soon as possible, I have been a FTM since I was four years old. So could you all help me please? Thanks a bunch. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, HunterNightshade +, writes (28 December 2012):
HunterNightshade is verified as being by the original poster of the question @anonymous lady. Oh I see so its when I have sergury I'm considered a transgendered right? So for now I'm just a FTM? Well anyways to all thank you so much for the advices.
A
male
reader, HunterNightshade +, writes (27 December 2012):
HunterNightshade is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the advice. You had it right just backwards. I am born female now I want to become a male.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2012): But I completely understand u being a natural born female but exhibiting male appearance, and even wanting the male gentilia instead of a vagina. If u haven't yet had extensive counselling and completely transformed then u aren't ready yet..imho, but nevertheless u should not tell ur parents this yet, especially since u know they are against it. Potential issues can be : Unless you're ready to be kicked out the house, disowned, and hated I suggest u keep your lips tight until you no longer live with ur parents and they no longer provide for u. If u insist on telling ur parents while residing with them then u are in over ur head. Once u graduate high school and move out of ur parents place n go to college n get a part job taking care of ur self then would be a good time. Bc u wouldn't have to live around then if they're full of hostility or hatred - just in case that is the outcome Maybe u always desired to be male, and wished u were a boy and dressed as a boy and did boyish things but unless u had surgery u are not yet defined as FTM transgender. I'm knowledgeable about this bc I am a part of the gay community, I'm lesbian and 27 years old.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (27 December 2012):
Hi there. I'm surprised that your parents didn't have a clue of this before now.
I honestly don't know the term "FTM", but I do understand the term transgender.
So what you are really saying here, is that you are genetically male and at the same time, you feel psychologically, that you are female.
So you feel more like a woman in a man's body, is that correct?
And when you say you are gay, is your attraction towards men or women?
I'm keeping in mind here, that physically you look on the outside, like a man.
This could be rather confusing for you.
It must seem like a bit of an inner argument going on inside of you now.
Perhaps for you, you always thought you were different in some way to other boys your age, but it was not until puberty that you realized you really were different and you are now coming to terms with it finally.
And this is quite understandable.
Anyway, regardless of whatever it is, you would like to come out and tell your parents, and this is the most important part of your question here, isn't it?
Well obviously, when you choose to tell your parents, make sure it's just you and them in the house at the time.
Not even another one of your siblings.
Perhaps don't just approach it at the dinner table when you are all eating, choose a time when you are all just relaxing in the family room, and say to them something like - "Mum and Dad, can I have a talk with you both? There is something really important I need to tell you, and I don't want to wait any longer to do this."
So then, you have their complete undivided attention, right there and then.
And just by your introduction to the subject, they will instinctively know, that it's something they won't want to be interrupted during.
And then, you just begin to tell them EXACTLY what has been happening in your life, since you were 4 years old.
And how you have been feeling all this time.
And just be open and honest with them.
I promise you, your life will be much easier for you once you have told them everything.
It is something you DO need to get off your chest, once and for all.
And the sooner you do this, the better.
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