A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with two men one ive known for four years and one ive been with 10 months and I cant choose and its starting to depress me and stress me out having to choose the right one to settle down with, I keep thinking what if I make the wrong choice. Both men are asking for a commitment from me and I am out of mind with worry and feel like theres no way out of this situation. I feel awful lying to them but I honestly don't know what to do for the best. they are both in love with me and I just cant face upsetting them and hurting them. I hate this situation and myself for allowing this to happen. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (24 December 2017):
Go with the new guy. You wouldn’t be with him if you were supposed to be with the first guy.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 December 2017):
 Pick the guy you can't imagine living WITHOUT. If you were to give both up, which one would you miss most?
If you can't answer that, then maybe NEITHER of them is quite right for you.
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A
male
reader, DarrellG +, writes (24 December 2017):
 But you arent with the four-year guy in an actual relationship? Am I right? I presume he is a long-term friend?I think Aunty Bim Bim is right but she has it the wrong way around. Your in a relationship with the 10month guy right? Well the four-year guy IS giving you something that the relationship with 10-month guy isn't. Ideally, youd probably create some freakish Frankenstein monster combining the two but real life doesnt work out that way.So, you need to do things this way:a) work out what your not getting from 10 month guyb) when you have done a decide if realsitically he will be able to give it youc) figure out if your attraction to four year guy is real or based on him fufilling a missing need and look at him objectively and see if 5 years down the road you can see it working out. d) decide your course of action depending on the answers to a, b and c. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (24 December 2017):
 The 10 month guy is filling a void which exists in the four year relationship .... something is missing from here, whether it is sexual or emotional, mental .... something the second guy fulfils.
Decide what you want from life looking into the future, and then pick the guy who best fits in with your future plans.
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