A
female
age
51-59,
*orn11
writes:Please help me. I have a boyfriend of 4 years who i am in a long distance relationship with, although we do see each other at least twice a week and talk everyday. he is willing to give up everything and sell to move to where i am and buy a house for us and my 2 kids. i do love him and he is the perfect man for me and my kids. but here is my problem. i have been having an affair with a guy who is in a common law relationship and there is so much spark and i have fallen totally in love with him and he tells me the same. his girlfriend knows absolutly nothing about us, but due to problems between them -they have recently listed the house to sell and are splitting up. i tell myself that he is not leaving her for me, and he tells me the same. i want to be with him very much but i am afraid i will give up something so good with a guy i love for this new guy who i love too, only with the added spark that i have never ever felt before for anyone, and what if it never works between us?i have to make a quick decision 'cause i don't want my current boyfriend to uproot and then i give him up, but if i choose him then maybe the guy i am having the affair with will stay where he is. do i take a chance on happiness and give up the perfect man for what may or may not be the more perfect man?
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Trust is a major part of a relationship. The 2nd guy is not trustworthy. He is still in a relationship and has not told his significant other about you. Also, even when there is trouble in a relationship, trustworthy people leave them cleanly before they start up a new relationship. Your kids probably don't know him, etc. There is not guarantee he will continue on the path of leaving his relationship for you either.
You also said that if you choose the first guy, then the 2nd one might go back to his previous relationship. Maybe it would be better for him to try and work things out there.
All I will say is that this is not a game of musical chairs and you don't need to choose either of them. But it sure seems to me that the 1st guy has it in him to go the distance while the 2nd guy may not.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): to find a man that will do anything for you as you have,you`d be a fool to let him go
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A
female
reader, higo  +, writes (24 June 2008):
 well...you know when i'm reading the text i found that you're really in love with the perfect man the man that he will move just for you the man that will takecare of you and of your kids you talked about him in a diffrent way...it was really great ...that's what I felt anyway it's your decision what i'm gonna say that you have to think a bit about the second guy maybe he's not good enough for your kids...think about the guy who will takecare of you and your kids...maybe the second guy dumped her GF just for you and maybe he will do the samething again...I'm sorry I don't know you I don't know him I'm just telling you my opinion because when you talked about your problem I found that you already found the right person the person that he will do anything for you...I hope I helped you a bit please just take your time to think go somewhere refreshing and take a deep breath...and think...because it's your own decison...
I hope you'll find your way
HiGo
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