A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to break it off with my on again off again boyfriend....okay here it is... I've been with this guy a few years we have a kid together... in a nutshell tons of love, drama, sex lies, abuse and last but not least b.s...one minute he luvs me the next I'm a whore.I never know when he's going to get an itch in his ass and attack me verbally or physically...constant accusations and 3rd degree about my past. He's a real piece of work...cheating and of course it's my fault.I'm sick of living my life walking on eggshells. I've put up with this for too long. I don't know what life would be like without him anymore, hence my fear of letting go.I want to know how to tell him it's over. When I try he doesn't listen. I want him to know how bad he's hurt me. I still have to communicate with him for the sake of our child.What do I do? What do I say?? Please help... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 June 2008):
 National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
Website www.ndvh.org.
Another website for you
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/relationships/safe-your-relationship-19917.htm#help
Please call the main number I provided here to get some help.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (25 June 2008):
 Think safety first, for you and your daughter. I am concerned that he abuses you both physically and mentally. He does this to keep you in place, to rip apart your self esteem so he can control you. If there is no hope in changing this relationship, I would encourage you to leave.
If he is physically abusive, will he harm your child? If you leave him he may see your child as a weapon to get at you, so make sure you are alert to these signs.
When you leave, you really don't need to make sure he knows how you feel. This is about you getting healthy and being able to be independent. You could simply tell him that the relationship isn't working for you any longer because he does not respect you or treat you well. Sometimes actions speak louder than words so a "leaving plan" that can be put into place prior to the converation is always best. After the conversation, stick to the plan. It could be that once he sees you're serious he'll want to have the discussions and try to seriously work things out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008): I'd drop off your child at your mums house, then go back to the house, pack your bags and just try and do it again, then walk out. I'd suggest you put your bags in the car before hand incase he tries to stop you.
If he goes on about loving you and stuff, I believe you've put up the abuse for too long, and just say something like you'll have to prove it before I try and divorce you. Something like that.
If he asks about your child, say that you can see her when you seek help. Because he does need it, but I think you should prove to him a massive point still and walk out.
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