A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey Aunts and Uncles, I am in desperate need of advice. I have started to become indifferent toward my husband. He works a lot. 5 days a week from 530am-5pm. Right now hes also remodeling a house so hes gone all weekend. Right now we only have one "working" car (registration/smog issue. We also live way out in the country, so Im home almost all the time. I love him, and he loves me, hes very good to me and the kids, he shows he cares by bringing home flowers, saying I love you, kissing cuddling ect. We argue about little things often, and we don't really have a lot of fun together, although we do joke around. We also don't go out without the kids. I feel guilty because I don't do a lot for him anymore. I mean I make dinner, do laundry, clean, we have sex, and sometimes I rub his back, but that's about it. I just feel like I careless over all. I feel so indifferent toward him, like if he left for a week or two, it wouldn't bother me. If he cheated it would hurt but I wouldnt be devastated, or even if he started putting his friends first, it would annoy me, but it wouldn't be an argument. I don't want it to be this way though, I want to care more, I want to have the love that we used to have, or that I used to have. I want to do more for him. I want ot show him I appreciate him and for him to feel appreciated. I just don't know how to change the feeling of indifference. Do you think this is just a slump? Have I just fallen out of love with him? Any and all advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.
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male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (15 September 2014):
 You two sound like you need to spend some time together, just the two of you.
Do you have anyone who can babysit for you while the two of you go out and have some fun together? Do you remember what fun even feels like anymore?
It sounds like you're stuck in the rut of day-to-day living and busy being a mum that you have no "us" time with your husband.
You need date nights. Everyone does!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014): Thank you both! I really appreciate it. I was hoping I was just feeling this way because we havent spent much time together. I do go to keep him company sometimes, its difficult though with our kids, 3,4 and 3 months (the older two like to get into things lol. Hopefully I can do more for him when he gets home.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014): I think Xearo gave you excellent advice. Wow, do you realize what you have? He sounds like a great guy, the kind most women dream of. You say you wouldn't care if he cheated, among other things, but if he did, you would be devastated.Having been married for 33 years, I've been in your shoes, and it's normal for the excitement to wane at times. And I have to wonder if maybe you're suffering from a bit of depression due to your isolation in the country. It would be good for you to get together with family and friends or some community activities. But I think the key is that you two need to spend more quality time together. Hopefully that renovation will be done soon or maybe you could accompany him and help out. I'm amazed that he's even doing renovation after working that many hours a week. Sheesh...I can't get my husband to do anything around our home. I'm impressed that yours is working so hard for you and in so many ways.Hang in there and remain committed to him and the relationship. This man is a keeper. And your dedication to each other will be worth it in the long run. Though the romantic passion wanes at about the eight year mark in a long-term relationship, you two will start becoming closer in many other ways. My husband and I have been through our ups and downs, but we're truly best friends, and we know we have something special. We're each other's reason for getting up in the morning.Best of luck to you both!
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (14 September 2014):
A great relationship works by asking yourself what can you do for the relationship instead of what you can get out of it. He obviously is putting in 120% into the marriage including the house, financial security, kids and your emotional needs so I think you should shake yourself up and get back on track. It is very easy to take things for granted given your situation of being home all the time. I think you can start by talking to your husband and working towards a solution.
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