A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sometimes I feel bad about myself. I feel I'm a bad girl. I get jealous easily, so negative thinking, immature, and egoist. I don't like that some woman look better than me. I feel really bad about this. I want to change. But how? Its automatically done without my desire to become like that. I'm an introverted girl, don't have any close friends now, but many casual friends. I get jealous when I see my other friends hang out without including me, so close and have better boyfriend than me. Now I don't have close friend that I can hang out with. What can I do to change this behaviour? It makes my elife worst, I always feel lonely, insecure, and become a pessimist person. I was not like that before. I want to have a happier life, life without jealousy and peaceful life...
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immature, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): I think the problem is a lack of self confidence, which has you stuck in a rut. You're not as outgoing as other people, you're missing out on what others are enjoying, and as a result you get frustrated and jealous.Also it sounds (from your post) like you've lost your close friends because of your attitude towards them, and now you've got nobody to socialise with and you feel lonely, fed up and even more withdrawn from the world around you, which only makes things worse.Its a vicious circle really that you need to break, but only you can break it by getting out of your comfort zone and expanding.You also said that you don't like it when you think girls look better than you? This suggests to me you also have self image issues. Do you think you would benefit from joining a gym? Maybe keeping in shape regularly will make you feel better about yourself and the fact that you're simply out doing something keeping yourself occupied will make you feel better and you can make friends (like minded friends) too.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Why not join a church group? Its a good place to meet people and peaceful enough to let go of those feelings you are having.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 You've asked this question now several times, haven't you? I guess you are not getting the answers you want.
I don't know how you can change your thinking, other than to become aware of when you start to engage in negative thought. Start to observe that part of yourself that is looking for the drama. I have some books on my profile listed that may help you come to learn how to do that.
Another website I have to suggest is this one: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome It's free and may help you see how your thinking is 'stinking,' so to speak.
I would cultivate the idea of being present in the moment, living in the Now, through common techniques such as breathing and self-affirmations.
So in practice, when you start to become jealous, take a moment, pause, breathe 5 times deeply and ask yourself, "what part of me is becoming jealous?" and "what is it inside me that is wanting this drama?" Just becoming aware of the negative thoughts may be enough for you to recognize the triggering incident.
Perhaps you are part of a family that has modeled this type of thinking? Is your mother hypercritical? Is your father distant? Pay attention to that dynamic.
Start journaling your thoughts. Here's another website that has some practical ideas for you: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5419/5-Practices-to-Quiet-Your-Mind.html
When you realize that if you slow down, stop the busy mind, stop the negative mind, pay attention to the present moment, embrace your situation and go with the flow, you will start to find that peace you seek, within yourself.
Today, I want you to sit down and find 100 things for which you are grateful. Yes, that is right, 100 things in life that are blessings. Write them down in that journal you are going to start, today. Please feel free to list them here too. Writing them down, thinking about all the ways your life is blessed, will start you on the journey to positive self-awareness.
Spend some time today, as well, going through and reading this website: http://www.actionforhappiness.org/
I look forward to reading your list today. Thanks!
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