A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend knows i have an issue with porn, but i am working on becoming more open to it. he knows it has greatly affected my self-esteem and i feel very insecure and even jealous when a "hot blonde with huge boobs and a tiny waist" comes on TV when we are watching TV together. he has recently started commenting on these girls about "she's too ugly to wear that" or focus on a body part other than boobs, like last night "that girl needs a nose job!" is he doing this to make me feel better about myself? also i find it strange, (we were watching MANswers, a pretty stupid new show) but anytime boobs are shown on tv, he immediately wants to touch mine just because he saw some huge knockers (i am a full B-cup). am i being paranoid? another question, we got into the discussion of how he wants to be the only guy who turns me on. i said and truly meant he is the only guy who turns me on and the only guy i want to turn me on. i then playfully say to him "i hope i'm the only girl that turns you on!" he replied in all seriousness "i can't help who turns me on" and said that yes he meant it. i was thinking deep down but did not say out loud "you CAN help it, you just don't want to help it" how do i build my confidence back up so i dont always feel like i'm competing with the "hot babes" everywhere? i want my confidence to outshine the physical hotness of some chick at the grocery store or on tv
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 Your boyfriend is young and immature and lacks self control. This may later translate into fidelity issues because I seriously doubt he would say "No" to a woman if she came on to him nad he thought he could "get away with it"....
But you may have already stumbled onto the answer to this dilema. Your boyfriend has a weakness. He wants to "be the only man who turns you on" but clearly makes you compete for his attention in a sea of bigger boobs. Perhaps it's time to fight fire with fire.
If he can watch porn and gawk at other women, so can you. Maybe it's time for you to purchase a few Playgirl magazines, and watch his eyes pop out of his head when you start swooming for another man's naked body. And it shouldn't stop there. If he's going to gawk at every big-chested woman in the room, you mind as well start eyeing the men and making a few comments of your own. And if he can't handle that then it'll give you the opportunity to discuss what's fair in this relationship. It's time for women to quit living with a battered self-esteems and making excuses for men and their over-driven hormones. If they had to eat the dish they always serve to us, believe me things would change mighty fast. I wish you the best.
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (30 September 2008):
 i have an issue with porn too.
Where are all these amazingly hot women who like sex?
answer : they're not real and have issues!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): ugh, some men can be so insensitive lol
im the same about insecurites :(, but it does sound like he's making an effort :).
just try to remember that you are an awesome real person and your boyfriend wants to be with you because of both who you are and how hot you are :) x
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