A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: How do I get over getting lost and bored all the time? I'm 18 and about to go out to university and I just feel so bored with my life. I have no source of excitement except going to university and my life's just becoming really routine: get up, go to work, see my friends, come home, see my family, go to sleep. With the occasional meal in between of course. I just feel like I'm supposed to be an "adult"now but I just don't know where my life is going. I've never had a relationship, though I really want one, but I'm not a virgin, which kind of sucks because I've always told myself to wait for someone special, however instead I lost my virginity to a guy friend whom flirted with me and I flirted back. And although I don't regret it as I trusted him etc, I've never been able to come up with an actually satisfying excuse for sleeping with him other than, "I was bored with my life and wanted some kind of excitement". In a nutshell I guess that's the main reason I had sex with him, to do something out of the ordinary without giving it too much thought. He's the first and last guy I plan on having sex with without being in love with him. How do I go about bringing some excitement back into my life? It just feels so dull at the minute.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2017): Teenagers are supposed to be bored with their lives. That's your incentive to get-out and do something about it.
University will open doors for you academically and socially. You will meet people from around the world and will be exposed to many cultures. Daily life is only mundane; because you tend to get comfortable and lazy in familiar surroundings.
You can't be too afraid or shy. Open-up and be friendly. Be open to social activities that don't just include alcohol consumption. Avoid drugs! There are events other than trashing yourself like most freshman do; because they're away from home for the first time.
Avoid wild people, all you'll learn from them is how to get a hangover and a low GPA! Fun is not losing your mind and wasting your time!
It's not just about finding boyfriends and sex either. You get distracted and lose focus always looking for some guy to attach your feelings to. There is a whole new world out there, and a lot of other things to enjoy. Like sports, and taking classes in art or theater. Starting and joining study-clubs; which leads to parties, and new interests.
Attend lectures,social-events, and receptions sponsored by visiting celebrities or successful alumni who return to the school to welcome you. They'll inspire you! It's also helpful when you're not exactly sure what you want to major in.
One of my nieces started her freshman year last year. She's a pledge for a sorority. She's as good as in. They do community outreach, volunteer for charities, they're invited to fabulous luncheons and dinner parties. She's going to Europe next year. Well, her parents aren't sold on that idea yet; but she's pretty good at persuading them.
Please keep an open-mind and try to be social on more levels than chasing boys. You have to feed your mind as well as your heart. Put your studies first and foremost; but you've got to have some fun too.
You're gonna hate it at first; and then you'll find your niche, and you're going to love it!
A
male
reader, Riot2017 +, writes (25 August 2017):
Hello OP,For most adults, the kind of life you are describing is how it is every day of their lives, dull and unexciting. However, they haven't realized that the key for excitement is at their own hands.You don't need to wait for someone to bring excitement to your life, you need to go for it, take it and make it yours.My advice to you: join a club, an art club, or sport, go hiking, do stuff you have never done before. Try a different club every day until you find something that excites you. Volunteer in your community. If a volunteer group bores you, stick to it for at least a month, and then switch to another group. You need to keep moving and actively finding ways to make your life more interesting and exciting. There are many interesting things that you can you outside your home that do not cost you a penny. In my case I do weight lifting and swimming, which I find fun and exciting, and makes me feel better at the end of the day, more alive, more productive. Only you can make yourself happy, and only you can bring excitement to your life, no one else.Finally, there are many approaches to sex. For some, having one night stands all the time bring them excitement, but for the monogamous kind of people, we find more joy in getting to know some one on a deeper and meaningful level, and sex is just one tool for doing that. Best luck!
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (25 August 2017):
Essentially your life is going to change completely when you go to uni', providing you aren't still living at home with your parents.
The three or four years is great growing up time and every young person should have it. It used to be the armed forces for young men. Now it is college and girls get to experience it too.
Going to uni' is not just about education. It is an opportunity to explore all sorts of things. The activities, and people, surrounding your course are as meaningful and formative as your studies - perhaps even more. It is how you develop as a person.
Sure you can bury your nose in a book for the whole time. My advice is to embrace the whole eclectic mix offered to you.
If you find you are still bored after six months then go and do voluntary work in an impoverished country. You won't be bored then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2017): Where are you about to go to uni? If it's in the UK then why not think about studying abroad instead? You could experience a whole different culture as well as uni and possibly save yourself a fortune in tuition fees. There are lots of courses taught in English in other EU countries for example.
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