A
female
age
30-35,
*onties
writes:On Saturday, I went to a club and danced with a guy. Since I was there with my friends, I didn't want to come back with him but I gave him my number and told him to meet me after. He said he needed to take his buddy back so it was perfect.Long story short, we had sex and I meant it to be a one time thing. Before he left, I deleted his number, call log, and text log. I was not hoping to hear from him again. Even though he was sweet and respectful, I was broken hearted way too many times from having too much expectation so I thought if I build my walls high, I won't be hurt. About a couple of hours after he left, he texted me an inside joke about the last night. I ignored him for the whole day as I was busy and he texted me again saying that if I text him during the week, he may not be able to reply because he will be training in the wilderness. I mean, I don't know how the marines work (he is still at the preparation school or something like that)Seeing his determination, I thought it was cute so I replied his text and we texted for the whole night. He asked me if I'm doing anything next Saturday. I don't have plans but I didn't say anything instead I asked him if he wants to me. He told me that it's obviously so. I ALWAYS take way too long to reply so 20 minutes later he told me that he really likes me and it would mean the world if I see him next weekend.My job requires me to stalk people extensively so it's in my nature to check him. I found him on facebook and I was SHOCKED to see that on 2 pictures, he was wearing a ring on his left finger. His facebook does not show marital status, nor there are pictures of him and a woman that could be his wife. The only pictures he has are pictures with 3 boys that are too old to be his sons (so I'm assuming they are his brothers), with his parents, and solo pictures.My questions are:1. What should I do now? I haven't texted him today yet (I'm assuming that he won't be able to reply to me, what's the point?).2. How do I bring it up to him and ask him if he is married? I think it's not appropriate to text him and be like, "yo you married?" I also don't want to go on a date with someone who is married. If he ended up not married, I don't want him to be creeped out because I stalked him.Please, I'm so scared that I may have had sex with a married man.Best,Possible Home-Wrecker
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2013): To be more accurate, the Armed Forces is moving away from the old-fashioned dog tags to electronic ID. It gives a lot more detailed information; and you can add any additional information you like. Including the number of children you have, your religious preference, blood type, allergies, etc.
I'm a veteran of the Armed Forces.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 September 2013):
 WiseOwlE - dog tags don't have marital status on them, They have name, rank, SSN and religious denomination. His military ID only states name, rank, unit, SSN - activation dates - so that won't help her either. Funny enough only the spouses military dependent ID has BOTH husband and wife's name on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2013): If you decide to go out for the weekend; check the ring on his finger and flat out ask him about it. The time to ask any guy if he is married, is before you have sex with him.
Since you over-looked that small detail on the first night,
you have every right to ask him straight up.
You're not a home-wrecker unless you continue to hookup with him with the full knowledge that he is married.
You can check his dog-tags; or his military ID for marital status. He'd be willing to prove it, if he's single.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 September 2013):
I wouldn't call you a home wrecker or a "possible" one either. IF you KNEW going into it, and before you slept with him that he was married, then yes, you can hold that label. But you didn't so don't beat yourself up over that.
If he IS married and he was willing to cheat, and if he is willing to cheat, you can be pretty sure that he is willing to lie too. So asking him straight out, might not really give you the truth.
Instead of asking him if he is married -ask him if he is on Facebook, and if you can add him. And here it might get tricky, he might lie ( specially if he is married) and tell you that he doesn't do Facebook, and then you know.. he is a liar, proceed with caution. And if he DOES let you add him, you can ask about the kids.
That way, it won't look like you were stalking or snooping.
I have to say, I think EVERYONE should do a check on a potential date. If all the women who posts on here, who went out with a guy they THOUGHT were single, but was married - if they had check him out first they might have known ahead of time and spared themselves a huge mess and hurt feelings.
Also, if your gut tells you something is up, trust it.
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