A
female
 ,
*azlilly
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. When we first started going out, there was a bit of chemistry but now there is none. I don't think he feels the same - I think he still loves me and I feel guilty because I tell him I love him when I don't. I want to break up with him but don't know the best way - if it was face-to-face I wouldn't be able to do it but on the phone seems shallow. I am in love with another man, as well, but my boyfriend is unaware of this. I think the man likes me back even though he is ten years older. Should I break up with my boyfriend (and how) and should I go for this older man?
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female
reader, Tine +, writes (1 September 2006):
 you should give him the respect he deserves and do it face to face. there really is no point staying in a dead end relationship and i suggest you break up with him sooner rather than later. Just tell him that you dont htink that the relationship is going anywhere and you would think it best for you both just to go your seperate ways. He will try n persuade you to stay however this is not what you want. There is no chemistry and it doesnt sounds as if you wanna help rebuild the chemistry that was once there so leave him. After breaking up with your boyfriend try leaving it a few weeks before moving right on to someone else, and before you make any decisions about his other guy, try to at least find out if he likes you back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): I was in a similar position to you a few years ago. You obviously care about your boyfriend because you do not want to hurt him, yet you feel the relationship has run its course. How does he feel about the relationship? have you spoke to him? You have to follow your instincts and do what you think is best. You only have one chance at life so do what you want to do and not what others think you should do. As for this older guy, is he subject to your attention because your current relationship isn't working? Are you thinking the grass is greener? You have to decide whether it really is true love or a crush. Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 If you don't love your current boyfriend, don't leave him hanging. A one-sided relationship is a no-sided relationship. He deserves to know the truth and allowed to move on. And you need to tell him face to face. If you want to cast your fate in new waters . . . which is your prerogative, don't leave your current boyfriend waiting in the wings while you test the waters to make sure the older guy is what you really want.
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