A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with a 17 year old for about a month and a half. Its long distance so we only see eachother once a week and for me, its a 5 hour round trip. She is in a big exam year so I feel guilty asking her to come to mine, but the travel is exhausting me.I'm about to start college and I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I do really care about this girl but on the other, the timing is all wrong. I feel like we're at really different places in our lives and while I want to experience college, she's talking about things I did last year and don't really want to talk about anymore. She is seemingly really serious about this relationship and I don't know how to break this to her without her thinking its about her when really its that I am not in a position for an LDR right now. I feel like an asshole for allowing her to get so serious so fast but its my first relationship and I didn't know what was happening until it was done.
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (10 September 2012):
I think if you are not sure about the relationship ending then maybe you should come to an arrangement where you take it in turns to visit the other person. if she needs to take the train or bus to yours you could check online to see if you (or her of course) can buy the ticket cheaper there.... try this for a month and after that you will know if travel is really the main issue and if this is workable. you will find it better when you can look forward to her joining you instead of the journey each weekend.... good luck
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (9 September 2012):
 Just use the classic, "It's not you; it's ME" line... and dump her as you would any other girl....
Good luck.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm actually just gone 19 my age thing is wrong :S I just miss her so much sometimes and maybe I'm just not trying hard enough.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (9 September 2012):
 pretty much just say what you said here. FIrst wait til her exam(S) are over because you don't want to jeopardize her future just to fix your own. Next, just tell her that the distance is an added burden to the relationship, has made it too serious too fast and you're not in a place where you want to be tied down right now, you want the freedom of exploring college with no strings. it's VERY common for people to lose their significant others in the first year of school for this very reason. She has probably nothing better going on for herself in high school, considering how many out girls there are at that age, so she's going to take it hard, but she's 17, she'll get over it. I would think in general you two are in different mental/emotional places in life with her being a teenager and you in your 20s anyway...
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