A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've just finished school and I've not really had any boyfriends yet (I'm a virgin because I never liked the few boys that asked me out, and the ones i did like never asked me out/messed me around and were never that seriously into me) I'm hoping college will be different and that I finally meet someone I connect with/who treats me right, because I don't want all this careful waiting to have been for nothing. . However despite being single as sliced toast, I'm still worried about the future+ the pain i may experience during my first time. (I'm worried because I don't even feel comfortable putting a tampon in, so how will I deal with the real deal . I even experience a kind of faintness, which is deffo weird, I know, might be psychological though? Like, I do masturbate, but more by stimulating area rather then shoving anything in there if u catch my drift) I know there's all sorts of ways to reduce pain on the event (relax/use lube/go gentle etc) but I think I'd feel even better knowing that I'd previously broken my hymen.But thing is, I can't tell if I've already broken it or not. As far as I can tell (and I've looked at all the online diagrams, people, and used hand-mirrors on myself!)I see no thin membrane of skin- but my opening is still way way small. Is my hymen already broken, or am I just staring straight at it and failing to see what's right in front of me? Also any comments on the weird faint feeling thing i experience/ decision to try and break my hymen pre-sex would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay well I've "investigated" with my finger before, and I've never hit any sort of barrier- just feels tight and uncomfortable is all, so I don't like to "venture'' too deep (similar how i dont like using tampons)...
Could this mean that I've either broken it before (doubtful seeing as I've never been into athletic/horse-riding/sporty activities) or born without one? O_o
I'm not mad keen on going to a gyno for the time being, I'm still pretty young and not having sex, although I realize it is important I pay my first visit very soon.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): It may not be something you feel comfortable nor familiar with but try sticking your finger up there (sounds horrible doesn't it?) but its the most reliable way of knowing whether you've broken it or not. If you can feel a thin membrane of skin and it hurts when you push further up then it hasnt broken. You can't exactly rely on looking at yourself in the mirror as the hymen is a good two inches up there and is probably not detectable through a mirror.
If it happens you still have your hymen then you can try breaking it yourself using your finger and pushing as hard as you can (but it will hurt and probably bleed)
or... you can wait until you have sex for the first time which will also hurt but in my opinion is probably the best method, because you will feel stimulated by your significant other and perhaps the pain won't be as bad. But for me, the pain was excruciating. Everyone is different so try not to worry to much. But hopefully your hymen may already have been broken OR you may possibly have been born without one, amongst a few other lucky buggers lol.
all the best xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2009): Don't worry about it....you will find the one. Just go with the flow. You don't need to be like all the other girls. You will know when it's the right guy. =)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 I think the easiest way is to ask your GYN. She can examine you, and show you where it is or where it was!
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