A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:Hi guys, okay this question isn't as emotionally charged as some of the ones you normally receive but its important to me. About a year ago, I planned to go travelling with this female friend of mine for 6 months around the world. She suggested it and on a whim i said yes. 6 months later, she wasn't sure how it would work because she didn't think she would have enough money or want to do the travelling non-stop like me. She was honest about it and told me, I was understanding and said it was fine if she only wanted to join me on some parts. During this time i was a bit bummed that she was being flakey after she herself had suggested, but eventually I warmed to the idea, and liked the idea she would only join me on some parts, and I could be independent and travel mostly by myself. She has now backtracked again and is saying that she wants to do it all with me. This idea doesn't appeal to me, she's a great girl but i don't think I could spend all my time with her as we have different interests and temperaments. How do I break it to her, without seeming like an arsehole that I only want to travel with her on the first and last parts of my journey as book-ends. We are planning to meet up to discuss all this soon. She is a good person and generally independent and understanding.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (23 September 2008):
 Use your words. The ideal time would have been when she first reneged on the "joining up for some parts" of the trip. Now, Simply sit her down and explain that you were happier with that arrangement because you seem to have separate and different interests, and you were quite happy to agree to the previous arrangement. Frankly, she altered the plans once for her own interests which was an inconvenience to you, so you aren't doing anything that she herself has already done to you, right? If she thinks you are being an *A******e* for doing it, I would point out that perhaps the fact that you aren't being considered in her decision-making process is reason enough to keep the plans as they are. You can't please everyone, especially her, it would seem, so please yourself.
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