A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and a guy had a fwb/buddy thing going on last year, this ended when he got a gf. He asked if we could stay friends to which i agreed at the time. A few months later he asks if we could meet up for a drink as friends so we did but we end up having sex, which is where everything starts to get complicated. After this happened i decided that there was no way we could remain "friends" especially after what we did. I realised that his offer of friendship was probably just to keep me around and this hurt and after what we did that night i hated myself a lot, and still do. I messaged him and told him that i didn't think we could be friends anymore, he asked why, which i thought was strange seeing as he'd cheated on his gf with me that night, even though he said he was really drunk, i know that's no excuse. He said he really wanted to stay friends and i told him i'd think about it, not sure why i said that but i did. Well, after a few weeks we ended up talking online and i agreed to be friends, though it didn't feel right and after a while i told him again that this friendship wasn't a good idea. For some reason i ended up giving in again and feeling guilty for not talking to him, so here we are again back to square one. He told me he was glad we were friends and that he didn't like it when we weren't. My question is: how do i break away from him and this whole situation? I know it isn't healthy and that being "friends" is just going to ruin my life if i don't do something. I used to like him a lot when we had our casual thing going but since he got his gf etc... He asked if we could meet up next time just as friends. I think i've seen the real him and i don't like what i see.
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female
reader, tblondie1826  +, writes (23 September 2010):
Only way really is to delete every contact you have of his. I've been in a similar situation, but he thought we were fwb I thought we were a couple and when he confirmed what we were I couldn't talk to him anymore. It took a few tries, but I finally broke away and am in a healthier relationship. He still tries to be my "friend" but I deleted his number. He's tries contacting me via text I don't respond. He's sent me messages on facebook and I politely reject him. Just be strong. Goodluck:)
A
female
reader, Red591 +, writes (23 September 2010):
 WHy don't you ask him why he gets a girlfriend and never wants to make you his girlfriend. He can't be that serious with her if he is cheating on her without regret. It is probably best to not be his girlfriend but it also sucks to be the "side girl". I would still find out why he does not date you and if you can't get a straight answere than just tell him that fwb does not do it for you anymore and you want more out of a relationship. He is obviously a cheater even if he is dating a girl so I don't think he is a good choice to be in any kind of relationship with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Hi,
I was in the same situation... just got out of it recently. This was pretty much the exact scenario that you described. Honestly, as childish as this may sound, I had to cut off all communication with him. No emails, texts, calls. It broke my heart because I really care about him. Its been about two weeks, and I think of him like crazy, but I dont want to associate with a cheater. I think about that often... and another phrase to think about: A guy that on his girlfriend, cheats on his girlfriend, and everyone else he knows....
Good luck, sweetheart! Stay positive and focused. There ARE good guys in this world. Still looking for the best, but ive met amazing guys along the way!!
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